November's last day but the beginning of the last month of the year

U got that rite!Today is the final day of november.December starts tomorrow and before u know it,its already christmas and Back to school.I keep saying that time is really going by very fast.Jonathan's birthday is coming as well.On the 2nd of Dec.Finally a teenager!!Oh yeah,we might be going to Alor Setar later.Dad has to go there for a client thing while all of us tag along.I'm surely gonna go swimming as usual.I hope our hotel is near the beach!i would love the air from the beach and the nice wave sounds.Really,i do.Then i'll build some sand castles.Childish,arent i?^^.Haha,yeah.I'm enjoying my youth life.Its 4.06am in Canada now.Means Gareth is sleeping and dreaming.U know what,I always feel like i wanna talk to him.Not through the net but face to face.Its better like that.I cant believe...cant believe that its been more that two years i've been with him and never saw him.U know,I'm so happy that i know someone who loves me.Gareth really made my life a great thing.He's the best thing that came to my life.For that,i'm grateful to him.Having him is enough for me.I cant ask for anything more.The sky is a little dark now.Its gonna rain soon.These days its been raining quite a lot around this time.I think the sky is sad.Maybe God is sad.I hope i'll see the shining sun soon again!People likes the shiny happy sun instead of a rainy sad sky,rite?God,be happy!!I wonder whether Godma is sad.If she is,then..smile,godma!!U're in a good and better place now.Dont be sad.Be happy!!Nobody likes being sad.One day,i wanna see Gareth smile with my own eyes.Anyways,as i was saying,i'm not so sure whether we are going Alor Setar later or tomorrow.I feel like baking but mom said dont bake cause later we might be leaving.So,i dont know.Pmr results is coming closer and closer by the day.To be honest,i dont wanna know what i get.I'm scared and worried.I'm positive a few people are.Say..5o%?.Haha.REALLY!!Ok,well.Gonna OFF now.If i do go Alor Setar later,i'll sure to blog abt my trip there when i get back Home..:)

Going by fast

Heeeeey!!!!Can ya believe it?December is coming.November is just 2 days away from ending.It just felt like holidays just started.I really do wonder how life goes by that fast.Oh,speaking of december,its also the month where we,form 3's go and check out our pmr results.Aw,i'm kinda scared.I'll be happy if i get 3 or 4 A's.Very happy.I dont wanna fail anything.I'm scared of History.Other than that,chrismas is on the way too!I'm surely gonna ask for money!Then January,i can go Canada.I wonder how it would be like.These days my usage to go online and chat with Gareth is so Bad.Its because Dad always use the computer the same exact time whenever i chat with Gareth.why oh why.I'm not sure what he's doing online with downloading musics.Sometimes till middle of the nite!Sigh,its disappointing that i cant chat with Gareth if this keeps up.I hope to go swimming today.That is,if U.Don and A.Sharon take us and go later.I really wanna go swimming.I havent went swimming for quite some time now.Haha,did u know Joshua broke the lamp ceiling yesterday while he was playing the WII?hahahah!!He played so aggresively and hit the lamp on the ceiling and the glass when flying everwhere and ended up,i was the one sweeping and moping.T_T.I'm been Playing Wii as well these days.Theres a game called "The legend of Zelda:Twilight Princess"!What a Game!!!AT first it was quite boring,then later i didnt wanna stop playing at all!Hahah!!Never judge a book by its cover!:).Sigh,i miss Gareth.Yeap,i do.I mean come on...i didnt see him for almost 2 years.Its frustrating.To be honest,i'm always sad because of this.I always ask myself when will i finally get to see him.It better come fast,alrite!!I hope that one day Gareth will come back to Malaysia saying..."HEY felicia!!Guess what!?I'm finally migrating back to Malaysia!!!!!!!!".That would be so nice!I would cry of joy.Not only me,but others will feel so happy.More that happy.Thats one of the things i really want Gareth to say.How great eh!haha,alrite.Time to go now...:).

PAIN!!!!!

OH YEAH,DIDNT I TELL YA!!DIDNT I TELL YA ALRITE!My hands are killing me!!!!!!!OH,THE PAIIIIIIN!Feels like its....IN PAIN!!!!!I think the muscles are twisted!Oh dang u wii!!Haha,its actually my fault for OVER-playing.Haha!OK,SORRY,HAND!!Truly am sorry.Pls pain go away!shoo away!Oh,i feel like eating NIPS again.These days,eating nips is all i want.So yummy!!Why does chocolate taste so good eh?But i thank you to the people who create chocolate but why must it be unhealthy and fattening!?I wish it was a healthy dessert so i can eat every minute of the day.HAHAH!yeah,i sure wish.U see...my bros are playing wii now again.Guys really like games,dont they?well i'm not afraid to admit that i like games as well.Its not wrong for a girl to like it,am i rite?Its fun!!no kidding!Haha,i like horror games but i shout like a chicken.I need at least 10 or more people to be with me when i'm playing.I hope 1 day i can play games with Gareth.I would really want that!!>

The beginning of a new Wii

Yeap,the title says it all.Dad bought a Wii for us.How cool and fun is that!we played for hours just now and still playing.Well my bros are while i'm computering.I played quite a lot as well especially tennis and baseball.NOW MY HANDS HURT LIKE CRAZY!i cant move an inch.I think i should warm up before starting to play the Wii next time.Youch,feel the pain of my hand.It hurts!!D':!
Imagine tomorrow!when i wake up,i'm sure the pain will x100!!!AHHH!!!thats what i get for playing too much.Haha!Florentina is playing the cooking game on it now.I think i finally understand about something now.Shhhh,i'm not gonna tell ya abt it.Its for me to know only.;).I learned something and finally understood it.Ok,well off to bed now.Please,hand!!forgive me for stressing u out!YOUCH!good nite :)

SHE 's back!

HEY!!!!!!i am back!yes i am!ok!i'm alright now!physically thinking GOOD!about the fortune thing...I dont believe it!Yeah,thats right!darn right i dont!Gareth has been my best friend i've known since the first day i met him and heck no,he wont do that!right,gareth?^^!!Ah,i feel great now!!I just helped mom with some christmas decorations around the house!Lookin GREAT!Oh,Harry potter is already out!I plan to watch it but it depends whether dad's free or not!maybe we will go and watch it tonite.But for my younger siblings,i'm not sure if they can cause BIG problem.The movie is PG 13!that will be a problem!OH,mom just got some pizza.Off to eat it!:)Till next time!:D

Fortune reading.

Today i went out with Uncle don and auntie sharon.Firstly we went to Thean hou temple.Auntie went there to pray and i saw there was a fortune telling sticks.U pray first,then hold the sticks up and let it go and a stick with a number on it will rise.I got the number 56.So,i opened the drawer 56 and i took up the fortune paper reading.I read the english part and it says that i should forget the past.something like that.My auntie said it was a really BAD fortune reading.There was also one part....and it was so true abt me right now.I feel very scared now because what it says was really whats happening to me.I cant believe it......it made me so shocked.Is it true?please no.anything but that.How can that actually be written down.....I'm more terrified than shocked...how can this happen.....Please dont make it true!!!AHHH!!!!after reading what it says...i dont feel like blogging at the moment...sorry,blog.I'll be back..

Is it over?

Hey there.its already 12 am!haha,no worry.I'll be off to bad once i'm done with this post.Anyways,mom and dad stopped fighting now.I didnt hear any fights since i got up from a nap just now.Its nice to see mom not crying.I hope when i wake up tomorrow morning,dad and mom will be laughing or maybe smiling again like they used to.Mom told me,Jon and Joshua something just now.She said to jon and josh that no matter what,they should never hit a girl or their wives when they get married.She told me never to get myself hitted by a guy.Thats what she told us and we said ok.I think the moment my mom said that,i swore to myself that when i get married,i will surely make the person i'm married to so happy.I'll try to prevent fights and have fun with him.I know that married people get into fights but i'll definitely make the person i love happy instead of getting angry.I'll try my best!!^^!Hm,Gareth's probably in school now.I wonder if he's having a good day.One of his status says that he had to do a french text and judging by the way he was describing it,i think it was pretty hard.I dont blame him,french is tough alrite.Do ur best,Gareth!!u can do it!I think Gareth's progress in Canada is getting better.At least he can speak fluent french now.Aw man....i want him to comeback....Not only me.I'm sure others want him back as well.but how!!Its so darn expensive for a darn flight ticket.I really miss him.hey u know,i met him one day.Not officially,i just met him one day when my bus stopped by at his school and i saw him there walking in to school!that was 2 years ago.the year 2008.It was a lucky time.Thats the first time i saw him with my own eyes.Compared to the,he's grown so much!!He was young when i saw him then.Looks like he's doing good so far.I miss him so much!!Wow!my brothers are halfway watching Family guy now and i'm halfway typing and watching it at the same time.Its a bad episode!!Louis was doing the "thing"....and peter came in and was like..."O.O..U cheating on me!!".WHAT AM I SAYING!?!...AHHH!!!!!!!!!louis just said.....!!NOO!!nevermind!ehehe,Off to bed now.Have to sleep and get up early!GOOOD NITE!

Wasnt expected

Yesterday was a very bad day.So bad.Mom and Dad fought like crazy.One of the most worst fight i ever in my life.Mom's phone broke during the fought.I'm guessing it was threwn on the floor.All of my siblings,kakak and me were in the room.We were very scared.We could hear the loud shouting coming from dad and loud things getting banged.After that,dad took mom somewhere.We didnt know where.I started to cry so badly.I've never cried that much since the Gareth left.Kakak cried as well.Even florentina cried.She doesnt even know what was happening but she still cried because she was scared.I couldnt stop crying and i called auntie sharon and uncle don.I cried on the phone so much till they couldnt even understand what i was saying.My eyes hurts a lot now.Its burning quite a lot,but i'm ok.It was a day filled with horror and pain.I never knew it would be that bad.Grandpa also had scolding through the phone by dad.I feel so bad for grandpa.He called just now and his voice sound like he cried,ya know.I'm so sad for grandpa.He's an old man doing the things he can and then he was scolded so badly by dad.Yesterday before the fought,my dad scolded me and jonathan.It wasnt really a bad scolding.Just a scolding lectured.My dad told something bad to me and i was hurt when he said it.It wasnt an insult.Merely,he said i couldnt get that one thing i wanted.I'm not gonna say it here.After hearing that,i felt so lost and sad that i didnt have anything to think about.I told my kak about this and she said that its not true.Dad said that because he just was so angry with the situation now.I hope kak's right.Even so,i'm gonna make it possible again.Anyways,i jus hope everything goes back to normal.

............how can i describe my mood.....I'm so darn depressed and angry at the same time.I cant even bring up a title for my post...Its just too much bad things has been happening at home.So bad till i'm not sure what will happen if it goes on.AHHHHHH!!!!!!!thats right.i should scream to the top of my lungs...sigh...no use.Thats not even gonna help.I think today i just wanna be on the bed lying down.Wanna.PUNCH.the.wall.so.badly.I dont have the mood to smile today..These days everybody just wanna cry.I dont think we can celebrate christmas this year because of all this eventhough the christmas tree is up.Everything theres a fight.another thing thats been bothering me is that the laptop is out of battery and the charger is spoilt.i have to push the charger in hard while using the com and my fingers hurts abit when i do it cuz i gonna push it in hard.thats why i can only type with one hand.Now i just wonder....wonder if all will go back to normal...

Please God.

So far,second day of end year holidays are ok.But at home,things are getting worst.Yesterday was really bad.These days,my temper has reached beyond maximum.I had a bad headache because of this.Come on!!I need to know what to do!If things are getting worst by the second,something bad is gonna happen.Dad's temper has reached overboard as well.To be honest,i dont think i can do anything anymore.I tried so many things but nothing seems to be working.I fear that we wont even be able to celebrate christmas if this go on.What to do.how to help mom.....

Leaving but never will be forgotten

...wanna know..?2010 school year has finally come to an end.Today was the last day.I also spent my last time with charmaine and maisarah since they wont be in Dj school anymore next year.I feel so depressed.My mood is so bad right now.why does people have to leave?Do u know how painful it is to go through that feeling?I spent my day with everyone today.How much i'm so hurt right now that when i think about it,my heart feels like its about to explode to cry.I cant say 2010 is a bad year.It was really great.Even with all the bad stuffs that happened,i still consider it a good year.Charmaine leaving here to go another school is making me even more depressed.I like how she always shout my name when she's hyper.I like how me and her would go crazy and talk about candies.Now..tell me how am i gonna still see those side of her..and also maisarah.I wasnt really close to her but then this year,i started becoming close and me and her would talk abt wrestling.My friend mitchell is going as well...to australia.Migrating.i remember we talked a lot last year after school with joanna and brandon.Laughing around.But why does this all happen.Even now,I'm having a serious family problem.Every single one of us...grandpa,uncle,auntie,dad and mom...all is suffering due to something i cant mention.From time to time,its getting worst and the family seems to be falling apart.Me and my mother's relationship is getting worst these days.The same thing always happen everyday.what am i to do.I cant take it anymore.Grandpa's condition is getting worst because of this.Why wont mom listen to us.My tears keep falling because of all this that comes in my mind.I wanted today to be a good day but what i expect is nothing much.I dont want to go through this alone.It hurts so badly.

The last day of a school year

BOOOOOO!Guess what?tomorrow is the last day of school!!!can u believe that?I always wondered when will end of the year holidays will come and there u go!!its tomorrow!!when the bell rings tomorrow,its over!2010 of school year is over after a long hard and stressful months in school!Christmas is coming as well!!!Decorations are up everywhere!!!I'm suppose to but the christmas tree up now but..i will do it later...>

Karen Scott

HEYYY!!!Guess what this is?A name,right?^^!Well,its the name of my late godmother.And it also happens to be a Brand Name Price Tag for a Shirt.My aunt bought the shirt for me from the airport.She saw the brand name "Karen Scott" and straight away bought it for me because it has Godma's name on it.I kept the tag(picture above)of course because her name was on it.Everyone was shocked when they say Godma's name there.We all assumed that Godma is having her own Clothing brand up there in heaven!!haha,who knows?could be true!!I havent worn the shirt yet.Its light pink in colour!!:D!and has a collar.I miss my Godmother so much!i miss you,GODMA!!!!!!!!!!!Its been lonely without you.I wish u were here with all of us.Christmas is coming!!Oh,on Sunday,chee yee came over to the house to bake!!We did bake but we made a black monster.Even grandpa said monster is better looking that what we bake!T____T!fail again!Also,Uncle don and Auntie sharon took me,chee yee and jonathan to the condominium that used to be A.sharon's sister's.The place is near sungai buloh...and godma used to live there....i remember i would always go there and take care of here.Mostly,i would play and watch tv while she always slept.Then she would cook for me when she was awake.Just the both of us alone.Oh!!and she would take me swimming down there and buy ice cream for me!!!ah,what memories!!There was also a Mcdonald restaurant that was halfway building.Godma told me that when its done building,she would take me there and eat all i want.Sadly,it never happened.She was gone before that could happen.But I went there for the first time of my life on sunday when we went to the condo.I was very happy.I laughed so loud!all of us were joking around.people were looking at us.We were the one making so much noise at the Mcdonald there.Mostly,i wished that Godma was the one brought me there but its ok.I'm just happy that i went there that she promised to take me and go one day.Now i have another memory of her.Whenever i go to that mcdonald next time,i'll think of her.Imagining that she's next to me.Theres no words to describe how she was,but she was really one amazing person who was living in this world.My tears are falling now but its tears of happiness,i guess.I want her back but i cant wish for that.God can do anything except bringing the dead from coming to life.I think its best she's at heaven.She dont have to suffer the pain like injection anymore.She's happily living in heaven without a single pain.She's also probably watching all of us from above.When i look up at the sky,i will say "i love you,godma"!!!i hope u hear it,Godma!!!!!:)

Memories and the changes

HEY there!i was just thinking u know.A lot of people change now.I heard from some people saying that some people has change.I guess its normal.Meeting everyone in form 1....comparing to know,the percentage of friends i know change a lot.But the thing is,i cant tell whether its a good or a bad thing.For others,its a bad thing and the rest thinks its a good thing.Its confusing.I wonder...Have i change?i dont mean by physical size or appearance.I mean my attitude and thoughts.Strongly,i dont think so.I always remember i was a quite person in form 1.Many says i'm funny and fun.I'm the same now.I dont wanna change.But i dont know...others have their perspective of me.But after so long,i think i didnt change.Maybe through appearance and size,i did but not through physical mind.I like to think back about the things that happened since i got in form 1.Compared to then,now,i seem to experience more feelings and things that comes by in my life.Some of my friends must have feel the same as well.But while its going,i'm meeting new friends.More and more.I'm sure that Gareth has change as well.His life in canada...i'm sure he's still going through new things.He's able to speak french a lot now.I remember him saying when he first got there,saying how hard its is and he hates french and all,but now look at him.He can actually speak it naturally.I'm proud of him.I think i've grown a lot now.I'm able to think more maturely compared to last time.I am 15 after all.But it gets harder.I have to go through painful moments.Theres also happy and sad moments but i can sort it out if i keep thinking positively.I think i have to admit that my life has change.Meeting Gareth was one of the reasons.It was the best thing.My life changed but not me.I've learned and understand many things which i should and should not do.what can i say?humans are unexpectingly unexpected.haha,i'm not even sure what that means.Well,i am off now!watching an anime on youtube!:)

Today,tomorrow and the day after that

Today,i skipped school again.Jeremy got infected by a disease that he might have got from somebody in school.The doctor told us we all have to isolated because we came in-contact with him.He's in the hospital now quarantined.Now we all have to stay at home again and cant go out.Like the time we had chicken pox.I wonder why at important times like this,something bad happens.maybe we always choose the wrong timing.Anyways,i cant describe my mood now.I feel a bit happy and sad.But which?I feel kind of stress up also.Some of my important plans are cancelled.I feel like i have plenty of things to do but in truth,i really have nothing to do.Using the computer is my only daily activity.It would be nice if i have a nice movie or game to watch and play.UM..i wanna play twister but i dont have that game.Hm,maybe i should bake today?but i might ended up making charcoal.I read all my mangas,so no books to read.Theres nothing much on the tv.I cant talk to gareth tonite cause he has school.:(...aw..I never expect all this to happen after pmr.Haha,its kinda funny.I always complain saying I WISH PMR WAS OVER SO I CAN ENJOY..but i dont have much to do now.hahahah.I think i'll dig up some movies later and watch it again.I dont mind watching a movie i watched so many times.:).I feel like eating cake now...lately,all i ever want to eat is cake cake cake only.Why????haha,i have a weird stomach!aiyoyo!Oh,do u know grandpa has been here since February!?THATS SO LONG!the longest time he's been here!!thats rare!well too much problems,so thats why he cant go back.Gareth...he's probably sleeping now.I talked to him just now.Looks like he's Ok.The timezone really is a pain in the butt,ya know.Hm,i have another 2 more months till i go Canada.Time is really going fast,aint it?School is almost over.Just another 2 more weeks.I think form 3 wasnt that bad.i got up every weekdays at 6 am.Made me feel like a zombie.Oh man,My stomach feels like eating CAKE again!!!ok!i shall do something about me!till next time,my blog!

Consequences of My own fault

how did i get myself into this situation?firstly,its abt the acting.Today,i mean right now,i'm suppose to go gabrielle's house to do the practice but i cant because my brother and two sisters is very ill.My dad cant fetch me because he and my mom had to watch over my sisters because they threw up yesterday.So,he's still sleeping now.What kind of person am i?Why does so much problems keep coming one by one?I'm sure they are disappointed with me now.They are waiting,but i told them i cant go.Was it a mistake?Truthfully,i dont wanna do the acting but i am not the type of person who tell lies to avoid doing it.Even how much i dont like it,i will still do it because i was the one who said yes.I hate to tell lies to avoid doing something i dont like when i already said yes.So,in truth i dont wanna do the act but i'm gonna do it because they put their hopes on me.I cant disappoint them.I cant go now but tomorrow i'll do my best.I just have to imagine something nice while i do the act to prevent me from feeling scared or nervous or maybe even the feeling of dislike.Sigh,i wanna know why?why does problems only come in the most crucial moment?will it always be like that?i want that to change.For now,please god,watch over Jeremy,Florentina and Francesca.They are feeling very ill and they cry because of the pain.Please make them healthy again.Also,take care of Grandpa and mom as well.They both are sick too.Right now,i will just left to wonder what will go on throughtout the day.First day of november.A new month.