How did it happen...?please dont....

Today is a rainy saturday morning!My guess is its been raining since yesterday night.I witnessed the heavy rain yesterday and the strong blowing wind.Its rather cold now.As for me,i dont think i slept nicely.i was turning left right up and down.Thats cause i had to sleep on the floor.I didnt wanna sleep up on the double decker bed because it was cold and raining.So,i decided to sleep down.I had a dream too.I'm not sure whether it was a nightmare or a nice dream.But i was scared when i got up.Maybe its a nightmare because in the dream,lots of bad things happened...Its a blurry vision now.I cant seem to recall.Anyways,i've been feeling upset lately.The thing is...i dont wanna do the act...Truthfully,i dont wanna do it cause while i'm doing it,i feel that i'm about to cry.One of the reasons is because of my role and i have to do it infront of people on stage.I'm scared.My role.....i cant do it...I'm really sorry..but i cant do it.My Heart feels so heavy that its about to fall out but how am i gonna tell esther about this...?She worked hard preparing everybody and doing all this and that...I cant just say i dont wanna act...Besides,i'm the one who said i'll do it to help her.Please...i dont really want to...I feel so bad and depressed.I cant run away..I have to do it.No matter how hard or uncomfortable it is,i gotta do it.No choice for me.Part of my role is Holding a guy's hand multiple times.Thats one i cant afford doing.Theres only one person's hand i would love to hold many times and have fun but in order for that to happen,i have to wait for the moment.I'm sorry,my love.Please forgive me.Someday soon,i will be waiting when it will be ur turn where i can finally hold ur hands.When that happens,dont expect me to let go.I wont be able to do so once i hold on tight to ur hand.For now,do ur best to keep urself and everybody else happy.

People who has left the world doesnt mean they are gone forever.They are forever in ur heart giving u beautiful memories.

i am back again!hey,what if..theres a world that exist that living things cant die?Like humans.Is there such world where human beings cant die and are able to live on forever with a happy life?My thoughts are yes and no.But which one is true?Well,like u already know.I lost my godmother.She was like a mom to me.Eversince she died,my mom wasnt herself.she changed.Her only close best friend was my godmother but she's gone now.I wonder...godma,if u were here now,still alive,will mum be ok?she wouldnt be crying a lot.But because u are gone,she doesnt have anyone now.She says she has me but i dont know what to do to make her feel better.I try...i try to advise her but...its not working...she wants u,godma...Nothing is going alright,anymore,godma.If only u were here,life would be easier and happier.I know thats impossible.Those who went to the afterlife can never be revived no matter what....how much one has to cry or beg,its still impossible...Even so,godma,can u please come down and go to mummy's dream and talk to her.Tell her the things she needs to hear for her to wake up to reality.If u dont,things wont go smooth for us in the future.we will all be living in pain and sadness.Please,godma.Now i beg of you.Please talk to mummy in her dreams.Everybody in this house is suffering.I,alone come and beg upon u to help us.The only one who can do it is you.Please....help mummy.

Animes that got me interested!

here it is!this is one of my top favourite anime.i found it through the net and its created by YUU WATASE!its very nice!the anime is called Ayashi No Ceres.so romantic and awesome!


heres another one!its called Fushigi Yugi!i like this one more compared to the other one.Simply nice!!!way better!!my favourite character mostly is Miaka and Tamahome.But I like them all actually!


OHHH!!!!!I LOVE THIS A LOT!ITS Romeo X Juliet!i watched this in animax around 3 to 5 months ago.Made me cry a lot cause romeo and juliet died in the end.what an anime!
This one too!!!Kimi Ni Todoke!!!!!!!!VERY VERY NICE!!!

well,so far this few are my top favourites.I'm currently searching for more.Watching them on Youtube.But i already have the kimi ni todoke original dvd.I wanna try watching Absolute Boyfriend and imadoki but i cant find it in youtube or anywhere.I just started watching Bokura Ga Ita.I'm planning on watching 5cm per second as well.Do u realised that the anime i've watched so far is filled with romance??haha,well,yes.I love romance animes.Truly touching and the story line is perfect.Ok,i'll write till here for now.Be back soon..^^!

Whats been happening in SCHOOL!?

AHHH!!!may i ask an important question?whats been happening in schoo?its like a building in a deserted place.The percentage of form 3's coming to school is 20%!!!!!AIYOYOYO!haha,my guess is that all the form 3's skip school cause PMR is over and theres nothing to do in school.No,i am serious.All i do in school is sit down the chair,play games such as monopoly and uno,joke with maryam and ili,go recess and go home!!!Theres NOTHING to do.SIGH!thats why i keep skipping as well!i wanna sleep at home like a baby on the bed!HAHAHAH!!seriously...i love to sleep.Then i'll give a BIG stretch when i get up with a sleepy face.ahh...i'm very sleepy now as well cause i went to school today.So sleepy but i cant sleep cause....wait,i have no idea why.i can just get on the bed now and black out in 5 seconds.Hm..wonder why i cant sleep.Maybe cause i wanna use the com and ask Pap's to take me to a korean restaurant later!PLEASE,PAP'S!!!!SAY YES!!!!PLEEEASSEE!my stomach seems to be asking for korean FOOD!its been so long since i last ate Bulgogi!HO WOW!saying the word is just yummy as well.wait!!calm down,felicia!!!..food....food....FOOOD!KOREAN FOOOOOOOD!I wonder if pap's will agree or not.Oh yeah,as u know,i extracted my teeth.two of it!now,i most gotta eat on the left side.Not really used to it.This friday i gotta extract 2 more.Now i am very curious to how i'm gonna eat.Might have to eat using the teeth in the middle!HAHAHA,BEAVER!!!NOW i am FELICIA THE BEAVER!!!GAHAHAHAHA!!!Yeah,i will see abt that.Anyways,abt my acting....sigh,we practiced it today..in fact,i dont wanna talk abt it.I just hope it goes well and ends fast.I'm abt to go crazy...T.T!I joked with maryam today.laughed with her like crazy!!u should see her laugh.its nice to see.As for Ili,she's still in australia!!whats taking her so long to come back!?haha,aliah.u're probably enjoying there now.hm..how many boys did u actually captured or stalked?????HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!I hope u have fun!Mom and dad is kind of in a tight situation now.they keep on quaralling these few days.its hard to watch.when dad goes off to work,mom will cry.sigh,i wish they two get along nicely.Its not easy watching both of them fight like this.if only dad would only pay more attention to mom,then mom wouldnt feel lonely.God,please make it all go well again.This aint good.I've been listening to a lot of anime musics these days and also watching animes on youtube.Recently i watched Ayashi no ceres and Fushigi Yugi OAV 2!SO NICE,I TELL YA!the rating i give is five stars!!!so awesome!romance!!DADADADADADA!something is happening to my sister,florentina.she's wearing lipstick this few days and acting snobbish towards everybody.She cat walks,flings her hair and role her eyes.=______=!ITS NOT ME!I DONT TEACH HER THIS THINGS BECAUSE I DONT DO IT!IN FACT,I DISLIKE THAT!ASK THE TEENAGE SHOWS!THEY MADE HER LIKE THAT!Awww man!i seriously didnt teach her all that.TRULY!I have to do something!!i cant make my sister become like this!!!NOOO!!!!i must bring up a PLAN!i will call it..."Felicia's Ultimate Plan On Changing Her Sister's Attitude Problem"(FUPOCHSAP)!OK!i think its time i head to the toilet.I can feel my instint telling me to go to the toilet!!adeus for now!bai bai!

Miracle

how did it happened?i asked myself.how did it start?i never imagine someone like me to be that lucky.When i was in primary school,i'd never imagine myself to actually truly fall inlove.isnt it great?the feeling of love!People ask me why i randomly smile for no reason?well,my answer is because i may not say something from the outside,but inside,wonderful thoughts are crossing my mind.Each so beautiful and full of happiness.that is why i always smile.I think of something that makes me happy until i smile.I'm very glad.Truly glad to have live as myself.I'm so happy i live as felicia.So happy to be alive and experience all this.Life is so beautiful and amazing.Every blink of an eye,i'm looking at everything around me.Feeling all this feelings.Watching the world as it goes on until the future.I have dreamt so many wonderful dreams that i wish some of them were true.But its ok.Living life,having a family,having friends,being healthy,going through things everyday and also having someone to truly love with all my heart.This is all i need.This is my life as a teenager.I'm proud to say that i love each and everyone of you.Wonderful people i've known and met all my life.I love you...!!always will!X)

sending u something very imp.hey do this for me ?A kid asked Jesus.... how much do u love me ?Jesus replied ,''I love you this much .'' and he stretched his arms to the cross and died for us .If you believe in God,you will send this to 15 people in your list .If you delete this ,you will have a cold heart in 2010.Send this to 15 people in your list within 30 min after u read this and something good will happen to you NOW.This is not a fake ... apparently ...copy and paste this to 15 people in the next 10 minutes and you WILL have the best day in your lif ..

Ok!it says i should send this to 15 ppl but i dont know who to send it too.Even so,i believe in god and love him!So i decide to post it here so ppl can see!!well,those who read my blog,that is,^^!

Wasnt it a great memory?Yeah,it really was and is.:)

hey there!OK!firstly,i LOST my handphone!i exploded!!well,someone stole it.we had a birthday party,many people came,i left it on the table and someone took it.all my messages GONE!darn it!the messages i loved is gone!!!!!i went crazy and i cried but it didnt come back...why...?..why..would someone steal my phone....?i need the memory card back,please.sigh..its gone...i have to admit the fact...why...i wish i get it back but looks like its impossible.well,i deserved it.its my fault.sigh..really heart broken...also,i pulled out my two teeth 2 days ago.it wasnt painful like how i expected it to be.this friday,i will have to pull another two and next monday,its time for braces.Oh,i met a new friend.her name is felicia tai.Skdj 1 student.age 11 years old.she has the same name as me and she's a nice girl!!so sweet and kind.i'm already close with her!!^^!i'm glad.well,gareth is doing well too.He found a job.but its tiring him out.aw man.Take a break la,gareth.dont stress urself,silly guy.But i'll be supporting u!so,have fun and relax at the same time.I still miss him.haha,i miss him everyday.I wonder...can the days move faster a bit..?it would be nice if thats possible.hm..what should i say?i'm been skipping school a lot.Speaking of school,i was in a netball match.Actually i didnt know abt it.A friend sign my name up without my knoticed..T.T.But it was fun!the depressing thing is my class lost twice!!first was 2-12!and the last was 0-7,i think!haha,but it was really fun.A lot of girls skipped it because they didnt wanna play,so we had a hard trouble finding replacement.Luckily meranti girls were so kind to join us!!thank you,girls!actually,i wanted to skip school too when the netball match was ON but i knew it was wrong,so i decided to go.My free holiday...T.T.But i had a really fun time.XD!Oh yeah,i'm in acting competition now!!AHHH!!!!!esther wanted me in!!i didnt want to but i couldnt say No to her!she said if i didnt agree,she would have a hard time finding someone.AWW MAN!well,i already decided and said yes!!AHHHH!!!!ACT INFRONT ON FORM 3'S!!!!!!!I WILL DIE ON STAGE!!!!!!!!awww...i'm getting myself into more trouble day by day.sigh....T________T!Oh,my role is the main character.A girl and Guy fall in love while esther and danielle sings "fall in love again" by jason castro.the guy role is peir chyn.while they sing,we have to act behind them.Me and peir chyn are the main lead role.Boy and girl....fall in love.....she said i have to hold hands MAYBE!!......AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHY!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!!*slapping myself*!!!GARETH,I AM SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!i'll pay u back when i see u!!:'(!NOOOOOO!!!!!!WHY IS BACK LUCK KEEP COMING TO ME!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?AWW MAN!!!!!!i feel so depressed.....so much pressure.I cant back out now.Its DO or BAD FRIEND.OK!please make it pass faster,please please please please please!!!!!T_________________________________T!I got the old laptop back.finally!!the uncle finally repaired it!but my musics and pictures are gone!!SIGH!have to redownload msn again and real player!!AIYAYAYAY!!!well,going off now!!!bye for now!

Towards a great future

hey!guess what?my pmr is gonna be over!!!!!!!!!!!!!yipeekayay!!!tomorrow is the last day!can ya believe it?after 2 years,the stress is going out.that imaginary heavy big ball is finally being lifted up from me.i can already imagine the great stuff i will do after tomorrow.I can tell that my heart will be very happy.I wont be attending school much.gonna skip!hahaha!!well,i will have to ask mom and dad abt that.OH!next week,dady is planning a Birthday party for mum!!its a secret!!!!the best part is that all of mummy's school friends are gonna be here and she doesnt know it!XD!pretty excited!we are halfway planning it and the cake is already ordered.its a beautiful one!!sigh,how much that sometimes the good wish i asked for really came true...how do i say it..?hm,theres a certain time i fall into a feeling of depression randomly.why humans dont have teleportation power?seriously...i wanna know that.sometimes it would be easier if humans has that kind of ability.AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!please,god.....i got to...i want to..,i have to see him!!i will have to wait,huh.wait till january.......thats..3 more months.sigh,OKAY!!make time move faster!!anyone!fast forward it to january already!