The stars makes the night sky so beautiful

OK!i'm here!school holiday is gonna end soon.We actually had two weeks of holidays and in just two days time,its gonna end.But it only felt like holidays started yesterday.Maybe time is going by so fast.Believe it or not but PMR is coming in another few more days.Say,around two weeks.Sigh,another thing is that when school reopens,theres another exam.aww man!!Sometimes being a form 3 is hard.As pmr is getting closer,i get more scared.Yeah,its true.All i want for pmr is to do well.I'm already happy with 3 or 4 A's.Hmmm..if i could,i would like a B for science and math.i dont want to have any failures.A nice B would be nice for history and geography as well but...argh..i dont know.I have to work hard now.Then after that,i can enjoy till i go crazy because after that its the end of the year holidays.YEAP,the time where everbody is waiting for!i cant wait for christmas and i cant wait to go CANADA!!!yipee!!Let the time move faster a bit!It would be great!!I wonder how's everything with Gareth and his Family there.Hope everything goes well for him.As usual,i still miss that little...wait i mean Big Guy.Hahaha,cant really call him small anymore.He's all grown up and has become a more wonderful person.I'm sure that many of his dear friends misses him as well.Well,who doesnt?i think the whole universe who knows Gareth misses him.hey,Malaysia miss him too!Any time now,i'll be heading to Canada to see him.I can imagine myself the night before departure.All excited and i might cant go to sleep.HAHA!!I think i'll be an owl!O_O!HAHAHAHAH!yeah,i cant wait for that.Anyways,i have to go now.I have many things to do at the moment.Well,i'm a busy form 3 girl at the moment after all...:)..

Always listen and believe in your heart.

They say,its hard to anticipate what happens in the future.Things that revolves around friendship,growing,life,thinking,imagining,experiencing and even love.Its difficult to see how it turns out.But i pray for all this to go well for me and to all that i love.How much i beg,cry,pray,get angry,be in pain or maybe break down,theres one thing i can do.I have to Believe In My Very Own Heart.I want everything to go well.Right now,theres only 4 more months till my wish come true.The day i've been waiting for a very long will surely come.I believe in it and believe in my heart.Time is going so fast and positively one day in a blink of an eye,i'll be there with a feeling thats beyond happiness.

:)

HALLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!yeah,guess what!?me and gareth are OK AGAIN!!WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!ah,i feel freshed up!i'm proud and glad.i felt so sad but now i'm so happy that the universe is happy as well.*sigh with a smile*.I really dont know what to say but truly i am so happy.super happy.I was able to sleep nicely yesterday with a smile on my face.thank you,gareth!:).oh,later i'm going to aliah's grandma's house for raya.haha,i'm bringing my bros cause my mom wants them to learn some tradisional celebration.also,i'm wearing a baju kurung now.X).WOHOO!!!high 5-ing my self!!!!!XD!YEAH!!!!wait u,gareth!when i go there,we are gonna have the times of our lives!Just u wait!:)

In one's Heart

Lately,i dont feel like me at all.I might have done something that may actually hurt someone.To be honest,i'm so hurt.Not because of the person but because of my stupidity.I feel so sad and just cant seem to stop crying.My tears just keeps falling.I try to stop but my heart is telling me just cry.A feeling of sadness is always deep within my heart eversince you left.I always wished that me and you would be happy and always laughing together eventhough its through the net.Right now,i've just spoilt my wish.I'm so sorry..u know..maybe i'm the one who always hurt u..I'm truly sorry.Not having you in my life....i just cant imagine that.I'm so hurt that i feel i'm walking around without a heart.Its so painful...i miss the times where my silly brain would just say something funny to you while we chat.All the imaginary things i would tell you.....telling u to enjoy life there,to have fun,to have a great day,to cheer u up whenever u feel down,to tell you how much i miss u,to tell u how much malaysia and everyody here misses u as well,to push u back up when u're about to fall and give up,to tell u that i'm always there to support u eventhough everybody isnt there..and to tell u how much i love you even more eversince u left malaysia until today.thats right...i love you so much.each day i grow to love you more while understanding you.The best thing that ever happen in my life,gareth,was when i met u.under that tree.i would always wait there for my ride to come but waiting there every weekdays for 15 minutes ables me to say one word to u and that word was "hello".How much i disliked standing under the tree because it would sometimes rain and gets kinda scary but the best part is that i met you.Because of this,i love that very tree now.I am so happy...the most happiest person in the whole universe because i met and was able to love you.If i could have a wish that would come true,it would be to be with u forever.only that and it would be enough for me.We're in a rough situation at the moment now but i'm positively sure that we both can work it out and never forget,gareth,that i love you so much.More than u can ever imagine.

Why arent u here.....

u see this picture up here?it was a drawing from my late godmother...yes,she's gone.she did this for me around 4 to 5 years ago.thats when she died.....heres a short story about it.when i was young,she would always took care of me like a second mother.she's my mothers sister.she would always laugh and play with me.buy those nice stuffs for me and loved me like a daughter of hers.But the thing that always stopped her for having fun all the time was her sickness.she had a sickness eversince she was young and because of this,she could not have any child.her husband...is my so called godfather who tortured me and my brothers.now i hate him for what he has done now...i dont like to talk about it,please.My godmother was one of those i loved so dearly.when she was sick,it was my turn to take care of here.whenever i go out with my parents,she would always watch us from the door leaving the house.i felt so sad,so i always asked dad to turn the car around and instead stayed with her at home.the most place where she would take me and go was KLCC.i havent went there for years now because it would remind me of here.i remembered all the sweet names she would call me and how she would do so much for me.did u know that she has admitted to the hospital for almost more than 50 times..?well,she did.But on one harshfull day,she was so sick and she was rushed to the hospital.we all went there.every single one of us.grandpa,mom,dad,uncle's ,auntie's....everybody.we had to be there for 1 whole day.nobody left.when it was night time,we were all sitting outside the ward and then...thats when it happened...an auntie called us in.she told us to hurry.i thought my godmother had gotten up after so many days of sleeping but...all i saw was the nurses and the doctor running towards her with the life machine.we realised that she had lost her life just like that....we all cried.....my mother cried like the world was about to end....my mother and godmother may be sisters but they are like best friends...thats what my mother always tells me.i still remembered the tears all of us shed...the pain of our hearts felt...i cried till my heart was about to burst.as for my mother...she cried till we got home that night...how much pain that have gave us...thinking back of all this,makes me so hurt.as i type now,my eyes starts to gets watery just thinking about it and my tears is falling....why....tell me why.why did she have to go....it wasnt her time yet.why...why!!!...someone tell me...why...she was still young but why...!how much pain do i need to suffer....how much pain does my mother have to suffer.why does all of this memories returning to me...they are so painful....the pain of someone u love leaving is something so painful and cant even be described...i feel my heart now like its about to burst because its crying as well...why!!why!!!!WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i cant stop crying....when it was time to bury her....there again,we all begged and cried..especially my mother...why did she just have to leave us like that without a goodbye or a single word...sigh.one things for sure is eventhough how much this deeply affects each of everyone of us,it will forever be there in our hearts.it may be a good memory to cause it lets us remind of those great times with her.If she was still here,she would be able to be there for me when i'm about to cry.i cant depend on my mum because she is also suffering.i have to be there for her.i have so much painful feelings now and i wish i could just cry on u,godma.but...looks like my wish is just another thing of my memory and imagination..i guess i have to resist my tears myself.its so painful......theres a hole in my heart and i think i cant fix it...i hope my godmother realise how much i miss and love her from the skies.I love you,godma.please watch over us with ur great love and power.Make us continue living life towards the future with no sadness and just happiness.please..