u see this picture up here?it was a drawing from my late godmother...yes,she's gone.she did this for me around 4 to 5 years ago.thats when she died.....heres a short story about it.when i was young,she would always took care of me like a second mother.she's my mothers sister.she would always laugh and play with me.buy those nice stuffs for me and loved me like a daughter of hers.But the thing that always stopped her for having fun all the time was her sickness.she had a sickness eversince she was young and because of this,she could not have any child.her husband...is my so called godfather who tortured me and my brothers.now i hate him for what he has done now...i dont like to talk about it,please.My godmother was one of those i loved so dearly.when she was sick,it was my turn to take care of here.whenever i go out with my parents,she would always watch us from the door leaving the house.i felt so sad,so i always asked dad to turn the car around and instead stayed with her at home.the most place where she would take me and go was KLCC.i havent went there for years now because it would remind me of here.i remembered all the sweet names she would call me and how she would do so much for me.did u know that she has admitted to the hospital for almost more than 50 times..?well,she did.But on one harshfull day,she was so sick and she was rushed to the hospital.we all went there.every single one of us.grandpa,mom,dad,uncle's ,auntie's....everybody.we had to be there for 1 whole day.nobody left.when it was night time,we were all sitting outside the ward and then...thats when it happened...an auntie called us in.she told us to hurry.i thought my godmother had gotten up after so many days of sleeping but...all i saw was the nurses and the doctor running towards her with the life machine.we realised that she had lost her life just like that....we all cried.....my mother cried like the world was about to end....my mother and godmother may be sisters but they are like best friends...thats what my mother always tells me.i still remembered the tears all of us shed...the pain of our hearts felt...i cried till my heart was about to burst.as for my mother...she cried till we got home that night...how much pain that have gave us...thinking back of all this,makes me so hurt.as i type now,my eyes starts to gets watery just thinking about it and my tears is falling....why....tell me why.why did she have to go....it wasnt her time yet.why...why!!!...someone tell me...why...she was still young but why...!how much pain do i need to suffer....how much pain does my mother have to suffer.why does all of this memories returning to me...they are so painful....the pain of someone u love leaving is something so painful and cant even be described...i feel my heart now like its about to burst because its crying as well...why!!why!!!!WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i cant stop crying....when it was time to bury her....there again,we all begged and cried..especially my mother...why did she just have to leave us like that without a goodbye or a single word...sigh.one things for sure is eventhough how much this deeply affects each of everyone of us,it will forever be there in our hearts.it may be a good memory to cause it lets us remind of those great times with her.If she was still here,she would be able to be there for me when i'm about to cry.i cant depend on my mum because she is also suffering.i have to be there for her.i have so much painful feelings now and i wish i could just cry on u,godma.but...looks like my wish is just another thing of my memory and imagination..i guess i have to resist my tears myself.its so painful......theres a hole in my heart and i think i cant fix it...i hope my godmother realise how much i miss and love her from the skies.I love you,godma.please watch over us with ur great love and power.Make us continue living life towards the future with no sadness and just happiness.please..
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