You said you will always love me forever but i guess you lied...but its ok.I'll just secretly keep on loving you.Whether that feeling stays with me or disappear forever one day,lets leave it be for now.

:)

我

爱

你

Its no use....i cant help myself.I cant bring myself to forget Gareth.why...i'm suppose to be really mad but all i feel is sadness everyday since that day.Trying to think positive and just forget gareth like that by smiling and joking around...its not working.All i just want to ever do is cry.Please,i beg to forget everything but i really cant.Because Gareth gave me so much to remember and because i love him so dearly,i cant just forget.I dont even want to forget....Was it my fault that it became like that..I am sorry.why is that i can forget that easily.I learned the painful truth about gareth that he never cared for me and his friends told him to never talk to me and he did so...shouldnt i be angry..i should be angry and forget every memory i had with him but i just cant.Please stop it.I dont wanna cry and feel that pain again.i hate myself so much.So much right now.But i didnt mean to..i'm sorry,Gareth.i'm really sorry.Why does everything has to be so hard.why was i inlove with him when this was gonna happen.Why was i blind.why did it have to end like that...I just wanna say that i'm really sorry.I...miss..you a lot..and i still love u like i always did since then..

Its a New Year 2011

Its finally new year!A 2011 new year!!!whattaya know!this day has finally come.My family stayed at Saujana hotel yesterday at KL.Also,its because its mom and dad's anniversary.We stayed in the room that they stayed on their wedding night.The room was quite beautiful!!it was a suite!!then we saw the new year fireworks at the hotel too!!so beautiful and it was around 5 minutes plus.I'm so happy i saw it.Anyways...i'm doing ok now.Slowly trying to forget abt it.U know..to be honest..i was very excited cause i thought i can spend christmas and new years with Gareth.Yeah,i know i said that the post before this was the last about Gareth but...i just..sigh...Who knew that it would ended up like this...But i know that i cant ever change gareth's mind.Its already done.The only thing to do is forget about it and move on.OK!no time to be frowing now...its new year!!!i hope i'll have a great year this year.More of good luck to me and my family,i hope.i want it to be a great year!Ok,bye for now.

Thank You

I have felt true love and i also have felt the pain the ending of true love.The love i felt was something so great that i cant describe the best word of that feeling.The pain i felt of true love ending is so painful.A painful torture.I thought i was able to live with him forever,even after that but that was just be a piece of my memory that i want and thought.At age 13,i felt whats it like to be loved and to love for the first time.My true love ended when i was 15.I will never forget the love i felt,the knowledge i gain from that person,the memories i had,the promised we made and i will indeed never forget the boy who gave me so much to remember.Thank you for everything and for the love u gave me.There will always be a piece of that memory i had with him somewhere in my heart.Now,i end my final post about you,Gareth.Live a happy life always.

November's last day but the beginning of the last month of the year

U got that rite!Today is the final day of november.December starts tomorrow and before u know it,its already christmas and Back to school.I keep saying that time is really going by very fast.Jonathan's birthday is coming as well.On the 2nd of Dec.Finally a teenager!!Oh yeah,we might be going to Alor Setar later.Dad has to go there for a client thing while all of us tag along.I'm surely gonna go swimming as usual.I hope our hotel is near the beach!i would love the air from the beach and the nice wave sounds.Really,i do.Then i'll build some sand castles.Childish,arent i?^^.Haha,yeah.I'm enjoying my youth life.Its 4.06am in Canada now.Means Gareth is sleeping and dreaming.U know what,I always feel like i wanna talk to him.Not through the net but face to face.Its better like that.I cant believe...cant believe that its been more that two years i've been with him and never saw him.U know,I'm so happy that i know someone who loves me.Gareth really made my life a great thing.He's the best thing that came to my life.For that,i'm grateful to him.Having him is enough for me.I cant ask for anything more.The sky is a little dark now.Its gonna rain soon.These days its been raining quite a lot around this time.I think the sky is sad.Maybe God is sad.I hope i'll see the shining sun soon again!People likes the shiny happy sun instead of a rainy sad sky,rite?God,be happy!!I wonder whether Godma is sad.If she is,then..smile,godma!!U're in a good and better place now.Dont be sad.Be happy!!Nobody likes being sad.One day,i wanna see Gareth smile with my own eyes.Anyways,as i was saying,i'm not so sure whether we are going Alor Setar later or tomorrow.I feel like baking but mom said dont bake cause later we might be leaving.So,i dont know.Pmr results is coming closer and closer by the day.To be honest,i dont wanna know what i get.I'm scared and worried.I'm positive a few people are.Say..5o%?.Haha.REALLY!!Ok,well.Gonna OFF now.If i do go Alor Setar later,i'll sure to blog abt my trip there when i get back Home..:)

Going by fast

Heeeeey!!!!Can ya believe it?December is coming.November is just 2 days away from ending.It just felt like holidays just started.I really do wonder how life goes by that fast.Oh,speaking of december,its also the month where we,form 3's go and check out our pmr results.Aw,i'm kinda scared.I'll be happy if i get 3 or 4 A's.Very happy.I dont wanna fail anything.I'm scared of History.Other than that,chrismas is on the way too!I'm surely gonna ask for money!Then January,i can go Canada.I wonder how it would be like.These days my usage to go online and chat with Gareth is so Bad.Its because Dad always use the computer the same exact time whenever i chat with Gareth.why oh why.I'm not sure what he's doing online with downloading musics.Sometimes till middle of the nite!Sigh,its disappointing that i cant chat with Gareth if this keeps up.I hope to go swimming today.That is,if U.Don and A.Sharon take us and go later.I really wanna go swimming.I havent went swimming for quite some time now.Haha,did u know Joshua broke the lamp ceiling yesterday while he was playing the WII?hahahah!!He played so aggresively and hit the lamp on the ceiling and the glass when flying everwhere and ended up,i was the one sweeping and moping.T_T.I'm been Playing Wii as well these days.Theres a game called "The legend of Zelda:Twilight Princess"!What a Game!!!AT first it was quite boring,then later i didnt wanna stop playing at all!Hahah!!Never judge a book by its cover!:).Sigh,i miss Gareth.Yeap,i do.I mean come on...i didnt see him for almost 2 years.Its frustrating.To be honest,i'm always sad because of this.I always ask myself when will i finally get to see him.It better come fast,alrite!!I hope that one day Gareth will come back to Malaysia saying..."HEY felicia!!Guess what!?I'm finally migrating back to Malaysia!!!!!!!!".That would be so nice!I would cry of joy.Not only me,but others will feel so happy.More that happy.Thats one of the things i really want Gareth to say.How great eh!haha,alrite.Time to go now...:).

PAIN!!!!!

OH YEAH,DIDNT I TELL YA!!DIDNT I TELL YA ALRITE!My hands are killing me!!!!!!!OH,THE PAIIIIIIN!Feels like its....IN PAIN!!!!!I think the muscles are twisted!Oh dang u wii!!Haha,its actually my fault for OVER-playing.Haha!OK,SORRY,HAND!!Truly am sorry.Pls pain go away!shoo away!Oh,i feel like eating NIPS again.These days,eating nips is all i want.So yummy!!Why does chocolate taste so good eh?But i thank you to the people who create chocolate but why must it be unhealthy and fattening!?I wish it was a healthy dessert so i can eat every minute of the day.HAHAH!yeah,i sure wish.U see...my bros are playing wii now again.Guys really like games,dont they?well i'm not afraid to admit that i like games as well.Its not wrong for a girl to like it,am i rite?Its fun!!no kidding!Haha,i like horror games but i shout like a chicken.I need at least 10 or more people to be with me when i'm playing.I hope 1 day i can play games with Gareth.I would really want that!!>

The beginning of a new Wii

Yeap,the title says it all.Dad bought a Wii for us.How cool and fun is that!we played for hours just now and still playing.Well my bros are while i'm computering.I played quite a lot as well especially tennis and baseball.NOW MY HANDS HURT LIKE CRAZY!i cant move an inch.I think i should warm up before starting to play the Wii next time.Youch,feel the pain of my hand.It hurts!!D':!
Imagine tomorrow!when i wake up,i'm sure the pain will x100!!!AHHH!!!thats what i get for playing too much.Haha!Florentina is playing the cooking game on it now.I think i finally understand about something now.Shhhh,i'm not gonna tell ya abt it.Its for me to know only.;).I learned something and finally understood it.Ok,well off to bed now.Please,hand!!forgive me for stressing u out!YOUCH!good nite :)

SHE 's back!

HEY!!!!!!i am back!yes i am!ok!i'm alright now!physically thinking GOOD!about the fortune thing...I dont believe it!Yeah,thats right!darn right i dont!Gareth has been my best friend i've known since the first day i met him and heck no,he wont do that!right,gareth?^^!!Ah,i feel great now!!I just helped mom with some christmas decorations around the house!Lookin GREAT!Oh,Harry potter is already out!I plan to watch it but it depends whether dad's free or not!maybe we will go and watch it tonite.But for my younger siblings,i'm not sure if they can cause BIG problem.The movie is PG 13!that will be a problem!OH,mom just got some pizza.Off to eat it!:)Till next time!:D

Fortune reading.

Today i went out with Uncle don and auntie sharon.Firstly we went to Thean hou temple.Auntie went there to pray and i saw there was a fortune telling sticks.U pray first,then hold the sticks up and let it go and a stick with a number on it will rise.I got the number 56.So,i opened the drawer 56 and i took up the fortune paper reading.I read the english part and it says that i should forget the past.something like that.My auntie said it was a really BAD fortune reading.There was also one part....and it was so true abt me right now.I feel very scared now because what it says was really whats happening to me.I cant believe it......it made me so shocked.Is it true?please no.anything but that.How can that actually be written down.....I'm more terrified than shocked...how can this happen.....Please dont make it true!!!AHHH!!!!after reading what it says...i dont feel like blogging at the moment...sorry,blog.I'll be back..

Is it over?

Hey there.its already 12 am!haha,no worry.I'll be off to bad once i'm done with this post.Anyways,mom and dad stopped fighting now.I didnt hear any fights since i got up from a nap just now.Its nice to see mom not crying.I hope when i wake up tomorrow morning,dad and mom will be laughing or maybe smiling again like they used to.Mom told me,Jon and Joshua something just now.She said to jon and josh that no matter what,they should never hit a girl or their wives when they get married.She told me never to get myself hitted by a guy.Thats what she told us and we said ok.I think the moment my mom said that,i swore to myself that when i get married,i will surely make the person i'm married to so happy.I'll try to prevent fights and have fun with him.I know that married people get into fights but i'll definitely make the person i love happy instead of getting angry.I'll try my best!!^^!Hm,Gareth's probably in school now.I wonder if he's having a good day.One of his status says that he had to do a french text and judging by the way he was describing it,i think it was pretty hard.I dont blame him,french is tough alrite.Do ur best,Gareth!!u can do it!I think Gareth's progress in Canada is getting better.At least he can speak fluent french now.Aw man....i want him to comeback....Not only me.I'm sure others want him back as well.but how!!Its so darn expensive for a darn flight ticket.I really miss him.hey u know,i met him one day.Not officially,i just met him one day when my bus stopped by at his school and i saw him there walking in to school!that was 2 years ago.the year 2008.It was a lucky time.Thats the first time i saw him with my own eyes.Compared to the,he's grown so much!!He was young when i saw him then.Looks like he's doing good so far.I miss him so much!!Wow!my brothers are halfway watching Family guy now and i'm halfway typing and watching it at the same time.Its a bad episode!!Louis was doing the "thing"....and peter came in and was like..."O.O..U cheating on me!!".WHAT AM I SAYING!?!...AHHH!!!!!!!!!louis just said.....!!NOO!!nevermind!ehehe,Off to bed now.Have to sleep and get up early!GOOOD NITE!

Wasnt expected

Yesterday was a very bad day.So bad.Mom and Dad fought like crazy.One of the most worst fight i ever in my life.Mom's phone broke during the fought.I'm guessing it was threwn on the floor.All of my siblings,kakak and me were in the room.We were very scared.We could hear the loud shouting coming from dad and loud things getting banged.After that,dad took mom somewhere.We didnt know where.I started to cry so badly.I've never cried that much since the Gareth left.Kakak cried as well.Even florentina cried.She doesnt even know what was happening but she still cried because she was scared.I couldnt stop crying and i called auntie sharon and uncle don.I cried on the phone so much till they couldnt even understand what i was saying.My eyes hurts a lot now.Its burning quite a lot,but i'm ok.It was a day filled with horror and pain.I never knew it would be that bad.Grandpa also had scolding through the phone by dad.I feel so bad for grandpa.He called just now and his voice sound like he cried,ya know.I'm so sad for grandpa.He's an old man doing the things he can and then he was scolded so badly by dad.Yesterday before the fought,my dad scolded me and jonathan.It wasnt really a bad scolding.Just a scolding lectured.My dad told something bad to me and i was hurt when he said it.It wasnt an insult.Merely,he said i couldnt get that one thing i wanted.I'm not gonna say it here.After hearing that,i felt so lost and sad that i didnt have anything to think about.I told my kak about this and she said that its not true.Dad said that because he just was so angry with the situation now.I hope kak's right.Even so,i'm gonna make it possible again.Anyways,i jus hope everything goes back to normal.

............how can i describe my mood.....I'm so darn depressed and angry at the same time.I cant even bring up a title for my post...Its just too much bad things has been happening at home.So bad till i'm not sure what will happen if it goes on.AHHHHHH!!!!!!!thats right.i should scream to the top of my lungs...sigh...no use.Thats not even gonna help.I think today i just wanna be on the bed lying down.Wanna.PUNCH.the.wall.so.badly.I dont have the mood to smile today..These days everybody just wanna cry.I dont think we can celebrate christmas this year because of all this eventhough the christmas tree is up.Everything theres a fight.another thing thats been bothering me is that the laptop is out of battery and the charger is spoilt.i have to push the charger in hard while using the com and my fingers hurts abit when i do it cuz i gonna push it in hard.thats why i can only type with one hand.Now i just wonder....wonder if all will go back to normal...

Please God.

So far,second day of end year holidays are ok.But at home,things are getting worst.Yesterday was really bad.These days,my temper has reached beyond maximum.I had a bad headache because of this.Come on!!I need to know what to do!If things are getting worst by the second,something bad is gonna happen.Dad's temper has reached overboard as well.To be honest,i dont think i can do anything anymore.I tried so many things but nothing seems to be working.I fear that we wont even be able to celebrate christmas if this go on.What to do.how to help mom.....

Leaving but never will be forgotten

...wanna know..?2010 school year has finally come to an end.Today was the last day.I also spent my last time with charmaine and maisarah since they wont be in Dj school anymore next year.I feel so depressed.My mood is so bad right now.why does people have to leave?Do u know how painful it is to go through that feeling?I spent my day with everyone today.How much i'm so hurt right now that when i think about it,my heart feels like its about to explode to cry.I cant say 2010 is a bad year.It was really great.Even with all the bad stuffs that happened,i still consider it a good year.Charmaine leaving here to go another school is making me even more depressed.I like how she always shout my name when she's hyper.I like how me and her would go crazy and talk about candies.Now..tell me how am i gonna still see those side of her..and also maisarah.I wasnt really close to her but then this year,i started becoming close and me and her would talk abt wrestling.My friend mitchell is going as well...to australia.Migrating.i remember we talked a lot last year after school with joanna and brandon.Laughing around.But why does this all happen.Even now,I'm having a serious family problem.Every single one of us...grandpa,uncle,auntie,dad and mom...all is suffering due to something i cant mention.From time to time,its getting worst and the family seems to be falling apart.Me and my mother's relationship is getting worst these days.The same thing always happen everyday.what am i to do.I cant take it anymore.Grandpa's condition is getting worst because of this.Why wont mom listen to us.My tears keep falling because of all this that comes in my mind.I wanted today to be a good day but what i expect is nothing much.I dont want to go through this alone.It hurts so badly.

The last day of a school year

BOOOOOO!Guess what?tomorrow is the last day of school!!!can u believe that?I always wondered when will end of the year holidays will come and there u go!!its tomorrow!!when the bell rings tomorrow,its over!2010 of school year is over after a long hard and stressful months in school!Christmas is coming as well!!!Decorations are up everywhere!!!I'm suppose to but the christmas tree up now but..i will do it later...>

Karen Scott

HEYYY!!!Guess what this is?A name,right?^^!Well,its the name of my late godmother.And it also happens to be a Brand Name Price Tag for a Shirt.My aunt bought the shirt for me from the airport.She saw the brand name "Karen Scott" and straight away bought it for me because it has Godma's name on it.I kept the tag(picture above)of course because her name was on it.Everyone was shocked when they say Godma's name there.We all assumed that Godma is having her own Clothing brand up there in heaven!!haha,who knows?could be true!!I havent worn the shirt yet.Its light pink in colour!!:D!and has a collar.I miss my Godmother so much!i miss you,GODMA!!!!!!!!!!!Its been lonely without you.I wish u were here with all of us.Christmas is coming!!Oh,on Sunday,chee yee came over to the house to bake!!We did bake but we made a black monster.Even grandpa said monster is better looking that what we bake!T____T!fail again!Also,Uncle don and Auntie sharon took me,chee yee and jonathan to the condominium that used to be A.sharon's sister's.The place is near sungai buloh...and godma used to live there....i remember i would always go there and take care of here.Mostly,i would play and watch tv while she always slept.Then she would cook for me when she was awake.Just the both of us alone.Oh!!and she would take me swimming down there and buy ice cream for me!!!ah,what memories!!There was also a Mcdonald restaurant that was halfway building.Godma told me that when its done building,she would take me there and eat all i want.Sadly,it never happened.She was gone before that could happen.But I went there for the first time of my life on sunday when we went to the condo.I was very happy.I laughed so loud!all of us were joking around.people were looking at us.We were the one making so much noise at the Mcdonald there.Mostly,i wished that Godma was the one brought me there but its ok.I'm just happy that i went there that she promised to take me and go one day.Now i have another memory of her.Whenever i go to that mcdonald next time,i'll think of her.Imagining that she's next to me.Theres no words to describe how she was,but she was really one amazing person who was living in this world.My tears are falling now but its tears of happiness,i guess.I want her back but i cant wish for that.God can do anything except bringing the dead from coming to life.I think its best she's at heaven.She dont have to suffer the pain like injection anymore.She's happily living in heaven without a single pain.She's also probably watching all of us from above.When i look up at the sky,i will say "i love you,godma"!!!i hope u hear it,Godma!!!!!:)

Memories and the changes

HEY there!i was just thinking u know.A lot of people change now.I heard from some people saying that some people has change.I guess its normal.Meeting everyone in form 1....comparing to know,the percentage of friends i know change a lot.But the thing is,i cant tell whether its a good or a bad thing.For others,its a bad thing and the rest thinks its a good thing.Its confusing.I wonder...Have i change?i dont mean by physical size or appearance.I mean my attitude and thoughts.Strongly,i dont think so.I always remember i was a quite person in form 1.Many says i'm funny and fun.I'm the same now.I dont wanna change.But i dont know...others have their perspective of me.But after so long,i think i didnt change.Maybe through appearance and size,i did but not through physical mind.I like to think back about the things that happened since i got in form 1.Compared to then,now,i seem to experience more feelings and things that comes by in my life.Some of my friends must have feel the same as well.But while its going,i'm meeting new friends.More and more.I'm sure that Gareth has change as well.His life in canada...i'm sure he's still going through new things.He's able to speak french a lot now.I remember him saying when he first got there,saying how hard its is and he hates french and all,but now look at him.He can actually speak it naturally.I'm proud of him.I think i've grown a lot now.I'm able to think more maturely compared to last time.I am 15 after all.But it gets harder.I have to go through painful moments.Theres also happy and sad moments but i can sort it out if i keep thinking positively.I think i have to admit that my life has change.Meeting Gareth was one of the reasons.It was the best thing.My life changed but not me.I've learned and understand many things which i should and should not do.what can i say?humans are unexpectingly unexpected.haha,i'm not even sure what that means.Well,i am off now!watching an anime on youtube!:)

Today,tomorrow and the day after that

Today,i skipped school again.Jeremy got infected by a disease that he might have got from somebody in school.The doctor told us we all have to isolated because we came in-contact with him.He's in the hospital now quarantined.Now we all have to stay at home again and cant go out.Like the time we had chicken pox.I wonder why at important times like this,something bad happens.maybe we always choose the wrong timing.Anyways,i cant describe my mood now.I feel a bit happy and sad.But which?I feel kind of stress up also.Some of my important plans are cancelled.I feel like i have plenty of things to do but in truth,i really have nothing to do.Using the computer is my only daily activity.It would be nice if i have a nice movie or game to watch and play.UM..i wanna play twister but i dont have that game.Hm,maybe i should bake today?but i might ended up making charcoal.I read all my mangas,so no books to read.Theres nothing much on the tv.I cant talk to gareth tonite cause he has school.:(...aw..I never expect all this to happen after pmr.Haha,its kinda funny.I always complain saying I WISH PMR WAS OVER SO I CAN ENJOY..but i dont have much to do now.hahahah.I think i'll dig up some movies later and watch it again.I dont mind watching a movie i watched so many times.:).I feel like eating cake now...lately,all i ever want to eat is cake cake cake only.Why????haha,i have a weird stomach!aiyoyo!Oh,do u know grandpa has been here since February!?THATS SO LONG!the longest time he's been here!!thats rare!well too much problems,so thats why he cant go back.Gareth...he's probably sleeping now.I talked to him just now.Looks like he's Ok.The timezone really is a pain in the butt,ya know.Hm,i have another 2 more months till i go Canada.Time is really going fast,aint it?School is almost over.Just another 2 more weeks.I think form 3 wasnt that bad.i got up every weekdays at 6 am.Made me feel like a zombie.Oh man,My stomach feels like eating CAKE again!!!ok!i shall do something about me!till next time,my blog!

Consequences of My own fault

how did i get myself into this situation?firstly,its abt the acting.Today,i mean right now,i'm suppose to go gabrielle's house to do the practice but i cant because my brother and two sisters is very ill.My dad cant fetch me because he and my mom had to watch over my sisters because they threw up yesterday.So,he's still sleeping now.What kind of person am i?Why does so much problems keep coming one by one?I'm sure they are disappointed with me now.They are waiting,but i told them i cant go.Was it a mistake?Truthfully,i dont wanna do the acting but i am not the type of person who tell lies to avoid doing it.Even how much i dont like it,i will still do it because i was the one who said yes.I hate to tell lies to avoid doing something i dont like when i already said yes.So,in truth i dont wanna do the act but i'm gonna do it because they put their hopes on me.I cant disappoint them.I cant go now but tomorrow i'll do my best.I just have to imagine something nice while i do the act to prevent me from feeling scared or nervous or maybe even the feeling of dislike.Sigh,i wanna know why?why does problems only come in the most crucial moment?will it always be like that?i want that to change.For now,please god,watch over Jeremy,Florentina and Francesca.They are feeling very ill and they cry because of the pain.Please make them healthy again.Also,take care of Grandpa and mom as well.They both are sick too.Right now,i will just left to wonder what will go on throughtout the day.First day of november.A new month.

How did it happen...?please dont....

Today is a rainy saturday morning!My guess is its been raining since yesterday night.I witnessed the heavy rain yesterday and the strong blowing wind.Its rather cold now.As for me,i dont think i slept nicely.i was turning left right up and down.Thats cause i had to sleep on the floor.I didnt wanna sleep up on the double decker bed because it was cold and raining.So,i decided to sleep down.I had a dream too.I'm not sure whether it was a nightmare or a nice dream.But i was scared when i got up.Maybe its a nightmare because in the dream,lots of bad things happened...Its a blurry vision now.I cant seem to recall.Anyways,i've been feeling upset lately.The thing is...i dont wanna do the act...Truthfully,i dont wanna do it cause while i'm doing it,i feel that i'm about to cry.One of the reasons is because of my role and i have to do it infront of people on stage.I'm scared.My role.....i cant do it...I'm really sorry..but i cant do it.My Heart feels so heavy that its about to fall out but how am i gonna tell esther about this...?She worked hard preparing everybody and doing all this and that...I cant just say i dont wanna act...Besides,i'm the one who said i'll do it to help her.Please...i dont really want to...I feel so bad and depressed.I cant run away..I have to do it.No matter how hard or uncomfortable it is,i gotta do it.No choice for me.Part of my role is Holding a guy's hand multiple times.Thats one i cant afford doing.Theres only one person's hand i would love to hold many times and have fun but in order for that to happen,i have to wait for the moment.I'm sorry,my love.Please forgive me.Someday soon,i will be waiting when it will be ur turn where i can finally hold ur hands.When that happens,dont expect me to let go.I wont be able to do so once i hold on tight to ur hand.For now,do ur best to keep urself and everybody else happy.

People who has left the world doesnt mean they are gone forever.They are forever in ur heart giving u beautiful memories.

i am back again!hey,what if..theres a world that exist that living things cant die?Like humans.Is there such world where human beings cant die and are able to live on forever with a happy life?My thoughts are yes and no.But which one is true?Well,like u already know.I lost my godmother.She was like a mom to me.Eversince she died,my mom wasnt herself.she changed.Her only close best friend was my godmother but she's gone now.I wonder...godma,if u were here now,still alive,will mum be ok?she wouldnt be crying a lot.But because u are gone,she doesnt have anyone now.She says she has me but i dont know what to do to make her feel better.I try...i try to advise her but...its not working...she wants u,godma...Nothing is going alright,anymore,godma.If only u were here,life would be easier and happier.I know thats impossible.Those who went to the afterlife can never be revived no matter what....how much one has to cry or beg,its still impossible...Even so,godma,can u please come down and go to mummy's dream and talk to her.Tell her the things she needs to hear for her to wake up to reality.If u dont,things wont go smooth for us in the future.we will all be living in pain and sadness.Please,godma.Now i beg of you.Please talk to mummy in her dreams.Everybody in this house is suffering.I,alone come and beg upon u to help us.The only one who can do it is you.Please....help mummy.

Animes that got me interested!

here it is!this is one of my top favourite anime.i found it through the net and its created by YUU WATASE!its very nice!the anime is called Ayashi No Ceres.so romantic and awesome!


heres another one!its called Fushigi Yugi!i like this one more compared to the other one.Simply nice!!!way better!!my favourite character mostly is Miaka and Tamahome.But I like them all actually!


OHHH!!!!!I LOVE THIS A LOT!ITS Romeo X Juliet!i watched this in animax around 3 to 5 months ago.Made me cry a lot cause romeo and juliet died in the end.what an anime!
This one too!!!Kimi Ni Todoke!!!!!!!!VERY VERY NICE!!!

well,so far this few are my top favourites.I'm currently searching for more.Watching them on Youtube.But i already have the kimi ni todoke original dvd.I wanna try watching Absolute Boyfriend and imadoki but i cant find it in youtube or anywhere.I just started watching Bokura Ga Ita.I'm planning on watching 5cm per second as well.Do u realised that the anime i've watched so far is filled with romance??haha,well,yes.I love romance animes.Truly touching and the story line is perfect.Ok,i'll write till here for now.Be back soon..^^!

Whats been happening in SCHOOL!?

AHHH!!!may i ask an important question?whats been happening in schoo?its like a building in a deserted place.The percentage of form 3's coming to school is 20%!!!!!AIYOYOYO!haha,my guess is that all the form 3's skip school cause PMR is over and theres nothing to do in school.No,i am serious.All i do in school is sit down the chair,play games such as monopoly and uno,joke with maryam and ili,go recess and go home!!!Theres NOTHING to do.SIGH!thats why i keep skipping as well!i wanna sleep at home like a baby on the bed!HAHAHAH!!seriously...i love to sleep.Then i'll give a BIG stretch when i get up with a sleepy face.ahh...i'm very sleepy now as well cause i went to school today.So sleepy but i cant sleep cause....wait,i have no idea why.i can just get on the bed now and black out in 5 seconds.Hm..wonder why i cant sleep.Maybe cause i wanna use the com and ask Pap's to take me to a korean restaurant later!PLEASE,PAP'S!!!!SAY YES!!!!PLEEEASSEE!my stomach seems to be asking for korean FOOD!its been so long since i last ate Bulgogi!HO WOW!saying the word is just yummy as well.wait!!calm down,felicia!!!..food....food....FOOOD!KOREAN FOOOOOOOD!I wonder if pap's will agree or not.Oh yeah,as u know,i extracted my teeth.two of it!now,i most gotta eat on the left side.Not really used to it.This friday i gotta extract 2 more.Now i am very curious to how i'm gonna eat.Might have to eat using the teeth in the middle!HAHAHA,BEAVER!!!NOW i am FELICIA THE BEAVER!!!GAHAHAHAHA!!!Yeah,i will see abt that.Anyways,abt my acting....sigh,we practiced it today..in fact,i dont wanna talk abt it.I just hope it goes well and ends fast.I'm abt to go crazy...T.T!I joked with maryam today.laughed with her like crazy!!u should see her laugh.its nice to see.As for Ili,she's still in australia!!whats taking her so long to come back!?haha,aliah.u're probably enjoying there now.hm..how many boys did u actually captured or stalked?????HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!I hope u have fun!Mom and dad is kind of in a tight situation now.they keep on quaralling these few days.its hard to watch.when dad goes off to work,mom will cry.sigh,i wish they two get along nicely.Its not easy watching both of them fight like this.if only dad would only pay more attention to mom,then mom wouldnt feel lonely.God,please make it all go well again.This aint good.I've been listening to a lot of anime musics these days and also watching animes on youtube.Recently i watched Ayashi no ceres and Fushigi Yugi OAV 2!SO NICE,I TELL YA!the rating i give is five stars!!!so awesome!romance!!DADADADADADA!something is happening to my sister,florentina.she's wearing lipstick this few days and acting snobbish towards everybody.She cat walks,flings her hair and role her eyes.=______=!ITS NOT ME!I DONT TEACH HER THIS THINGS BECAUSE I DONT DO IT!IN FACT,I DISLIKE THAT!ASK THE TEENAGE SHOWS!THEY MADE HER LIKE THAT!Awww man!i seriously didnt teach her all that.TRULY!I have to do something!!i cant make my sister become like this!!!NOOO!!!!i must bring up a PLAN!i will call it..."Felicia's Ultimate Plan On Changing Her Sister's Attitude Problem"(FUPOCHSAP)!OK!i think its time i head to the toilet.I can feel my instint telling me to go to the toilet!!adeus for now!bai bai!

Miracle

how did it happened?i asked myself.how did it start?i never imagine someone like me to be that lucky.When i was in primary school,i'd never imagine myself to actually truly fall inlove.isnt it great?the feeling of love!People ask me why i randomly smile for no reason?well,my answer is because i may not say something from the outside,but inside,wonderful thoughts are crossing my mind.Each so beautiful and full of happiness.that is why i always smile.I think of something that makes me happy until i smile.I'm very glad.Truly glad to have live as myself.I'm so happy i live as felicia.So happy to be alive and experience all this.Life is so beautiful and amazing.Every blink of an eye,i'm looking at everything around me.Feeling all this feelings.Watching the world as it goes on until the future.I have dreamt so many wonderful dreams that i wish some of them were true.But its ok.Living life,having a family,having friends,being healthy,going through things everyday and also having someone to truly love with all my heart.This is all i need.This is my life as a teenager.I'm proud to say that i love each and everyone of you.Wonderful people i've known and met all my life.I love you...!!always will!X)

sending u something very imp.hey do this for me ?A kid asked Jesus.... how much do u love me ?Jesus replied ,''I love you this much .'' and he stretched his arms to the cross and died for us .If you believe in God,you will send this to 15 people in your list .If you delete this ,you will have a cold heart in 2010.Send this to 15 people in your list within 30 min after u read this and something good will happen to you NOW.This is not a fake ... apparently ...copy and paste this to 15 people in the next 10 minutes and you WILL have the best day in your lif ..

Ok!it says i should send this to 15 ppl but i dont know who to send it too.Even so,i believe in god and love him!So i decide to post it here so ppl can see!!well,those who read my blog,that is,^^!

Wasnt it a great memory?Yeah,it really was and is.:)

hey there!OK!firstly,i LOST my handphone!i exploded!!well,someone stole it.we had a birthday party,many people came,i left it on the table and someone took it.all my messages GONE!darn it!the messages i loved is gone!!!!!i went crazy and i cried but it didnt come back...why...?..why..would someone steal my phone....?i need the memory card back,please.sigh..its gone...i have to admit the fact...why...i wish i get it back but looks like its impossible.well,i deserved it.its my fault.sigh..really heart broken...also,i pulled out my two teeth 2 days ago.it wasnt painful like how i expected it to be.this friday,i will have to pull another two and next monday,its time for braces.Oh,i met a new friend.her name is felicia tai.Skdj 1 student.age 11 years old.she has the same name as me and she's a nice girl!!so sweet and kind.i'm already close with her!!^^!i'm glad.well,gareth is doing well too.He found a job.but its tiring him out.aw man.Take a break la,gareth.dont stress urself,silly guy.But i'll be supporting u!so,have fun and relax at the same time.I still miss him.haha,i miss him everyday.I wonder...can the days move faster a bit..?it would be nice if thats possible.hm..what should i say?i'm been skipping school a lot.Speaking of school,i was in a netball match.Actually i didnt know abt it.A friend sign my name up without my knoticed..T.T.But it was fun!the depressing thing is my class lost twice!!first was 2-12!and the last was 0-7,i think!haha,but it was really fun.A lot of girls skipped it because they didnt wanna play,so we had a hard trouble finding replacement.Luckily meranti girls were so kind to join us!!thank you,girls!actually,i wanted to skip school too when the netball match was ON but i knew it was wrong,so i decided to go.My free holiday...T.T.But i had a really fun time.XD!Oh yeah,i'm in acting competition now!!AHHH!!!!!esther wanted me in!!i didnt want to but i couldnt say No to her!she said if i didnt agree,she would have a hard time finding someone.AWW MAN!well,i already decided and said yes!!AHHHH!!!!ACT INFRONT ON FORM 3'S!!!!!!!I WILL DIE ON STAGE!!!!!!!!awww...i'm getting myself into more trouble day by day.sigh....T________T!Oh,my role is the main character.A girl and Guy fall in love while esther and danielle sings "fall in love again" by jason castro.the guy role is peir chyn.while they sing,we have to act behind them.Me and peir chyn are the main lead role.Boy and girl....fall in love.....she said i have to hold hands MAYBE!!......AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHY!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!!*slapping myself*!!!GARETH,I AM SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!i'll pay u back when i see u!!:'(!NOOOOOO!!!!!!WHY IS BACK LUCK KEEP COMING TO ME!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?AWW MAN!!!!!!i feel so depressed.....so much pressure.I cant back out now.Its DO or BAD FRIEND.OK!please make it pass faster,please please please please please!!!!!T_________________________________T!I got the old laptop back.finally!!the uncle finally repaired it!but my musics and pictures are gone!!SIGH!have to redownload msn again and real player!!AIYAYAYAY!!!well,going off now!!!bye for now!

Towards a great future

hey!guess what?my pmr is gonna be over!!!!!!!!!!!!!yipeekayay!!!tomorrow is the last day!can ya believe it?after 2 years,the stress is going out.that imaginary heavy big ball is finally being lifted up from me.i can already imagine the great stuff i will do after tomorrow.I can tell that my heart will be very happy.I wont be attending school much.gonna skip!hahaha!!well,i will have to ask mom and dad abt that.OH!next week,dady is planning a Birthday party for mum!!its a secret!!!!the best part is that all of mummy's school friends are gonna be here and she doesnt know it!XD!pretty excited!we are halfway planning it and the cake is already ordered.its a beautiful one!!sigh,how much that sometimes the good wish i asked for really came true...how do i say it..?hm,theres a certain time i fall into a feeling of depression randomly.why humans dont have teleportation power?seriously...i wanna know that.sometimes it would be easier if humans has that kind of ability.AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!please,god.....i got to...i want to..,i have to see him!!i will have to wait,huh.wait till january.......thats..3 more months.sigh,OKAY!!make time move faster!!anyone!fast forward it to january already!

The stars makes the night sky so beautiful

OK!i'm here!school holiday is gonna end soon.We actually had two weeks of holidays and in just two days time,its gonna end.But it only felt like holidays started yesterday.Maybe time is going by so fast.Believe it or not but PMR is coming in another few more days.Say,around two weeks.Sigh,another thing is that when school reopens,theres another exam.aww man!!Sometimes being a form 3 is hard.As pmr is getting closer,i get more scared.Yeah,its true.All i want for pmr is to do well.I'm already happy with 3 or 4 A's.Hmmm..if i could,i would like a B for science and math.i dont want to have any failures.A nice B would be nice for history and geography as well but...argh..i dont know.I have to work hard now.Then after that,i can enjoy till i go crazy because after that its the end of the year holidays.YEAP,the time where everbody is waiting for!i cant wait for christmas and i cant wait to go CANADA!!!yipee!!Let the time move faster a bit!It would be great!!I wonder how's everything with Gareth and his Family there.Hope everything goes well for him.As usual,i still miss that little...wait i mean Big Guy.Hahaha,cant really call him small anymore.He's all grown up and has become a more wonderful person.I'm sure that many of his dear friends misses him as well.Well,who doesnt?i think the whole universe who knows Gareth misses him.hey,Malaysia miss him too!Any time now,i'll be heading to Canada to see him.I can imagine myself the night before departure.All excited and i might cant go to sleep.HAHA!!I think i'll be an owl!O_O!HAHAHAHAH!yeah,i cant wait for that.Anyways,i have to go now.I have many things to do at the moment.Well,i'm a busy form 3 girl at the moment after all...:)..

Always listen and believe in your heart.

They say,its hard to anticipate what happens in the future.Things that revolves around friendship,growing,life,thinking,imagining,experiencing and even love.Its difficult to see how it turns out.But i pray for all this to go well for me and to all that i love.How much i beg,cry,pray,get angry,be in pain or maybe break down,theres one thing i can do.I have to Believe In My Very Own Heart.I want everything to go well.Right now,theres only 4 more months till my wish come true.The day i've been waiting for a very long will surely come.I believe in it and believe in my heart.Time is going so fast and positively one day in a blink of an eye,i'll be there with a feeling thats beyond happiness.

:)

HALLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!yeah,guess what!?me and gareth are OK AGAIN!!WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!ah,i feel freshed up!i'm proud and glad.i felt so sad but now i'm so happy that the universe is happy as well.*sigh with a smile*.I really dont know what to say but truly i am so happy.super happy.I was able to sleep nicely yesterday with a smile on my face.thank you,gareth!:).oh,later i'm going to aliah's grandma's house for raya.haha,i'm bringing my bros cause my mom wants them to learn some tradisional celebration.also,i'm wearing a baju kurung now.X).WOHOO!!!high 5-ing my self!!!!!XD!YEAH!!!!wait u,gareth!when i go there,we are gonna have the times of our lives!Just u wait!:)

In one's Heart

Lately,i dont feel like me at all.I might have done something that may actually hurt someone.To be honest,i'm so hurt.Not because of the person but because of my stupidity.I feel so sad and just cant seem to stop crying.My tears just keeps falling.I try to stop but my heart is telling me just cry.A feeling of sadness is always deep within my heart eversince you left.I always wished that me and you would be happy and always laughing together eventhough its through the net.Right now,i've just spoilt my wish.I'm so sorry..u know..maybe i'm the one who always hurt u..I'm truly sorry.Not having you in my life....i just cant imagine that.I'm so hurt that i feel i'm walking around without a heart.Its so painful...i miss the times where my silly brain would just say something funny to you while we chat.All the imaginary things i would tell you.....telling u to enjoy life there,to have fun,to have a great day,to cheer u up whenever u feel down,to tell you how much i miss u,to tell u how much malaysia and everyody here misses u as well,to push u back up when u're about to fall and give up,to tell u that i'm always there to support u eventhough everybody isnt there..and to tell u how much i love you even more eversince u left malaysia until today.thats right...i love you so much.each day i grow to love you more while understanding you.The best thing that ever happen in my life,gareth,was when i met u.under that tree.i would always wait there for my ride to come but waiting there every weekdays for 15 minutes ables me to say one word to u and that word was "hello".How much i disliked standing under the tree because it would sometimes rain and gets kinda scary but the best part is that i met you.Because of this,i love that very tree now.I am so happy...the most happiest person in the whole universe because i met and was able to love you.If i could have a wish that would come true,it would be to be with u forever.only that and it would be enough for me.We're in a rough situation at the moment now but i'm positively sure that we both can work it out and never forget,gareth,that i love you so much.More than u can ever imagine.

Why arent u here.....

u see this picture up here?it was a drawing from my late godmother...yes,she's gone.she did this for me around 4 to 5 years ago.thats when she died.....heres a short story about it.when i was young,she would always took care of me like a second mother.she's my mothers sister.she would always laugh and play with me.buy those nice stuffs for me and loved me like a daughter of hers.But the thing that always stopped her for having fun all the time was her sickness.she had a sickness eversince she was young and because of this,she could not have any child.her husband...is my so called godfather who tortured me and my brothers.now i hate him for what he has done now...i dont like to talk about it,please.My godmother was one of those i loved so dearly.when she was sick,it was my turn to take care of here.whenever i go out with my parents,she would always watch us from the door leaving the house.i felt so sad,so i always asked dad to turn the car around and instead stayed with her at home.the most place where she would take me and go was KLCC.i havent went there for years now because it would remind me of here.i remembered all the sweet names she would call me and how she would do so much for me.did u know that she has admitted to the hospital for almost more than 50 times..?well,she did.But on one harshfull day,she was so sick and she was rushed to the hospital.we all went there.every single one of us.grandpa,mom,dad,uncle's ,auntie's....everybody.we had to be there for 1 whole day.nobody left.when it was night time,we were all sitting outside the ward and then...thats when it happened...an auntie called us in.she told us to hurry.i thought my godmother had gotten up after so many days of sleeping but...all i saw was the nurses and the doctor running towards her with the life machine.we realised that she had lost her life just like that....we all cried.....my mother cried like the world was about to end....my mother and godmother may be sisters but they are like best friends...thats what my mother always tells me.i still remembered the tears all of us shed...the pain of our hearts felt...i cried till my heart was about to burst.as for my mother...she cried till we got home that night...how much pain that have gave us...thinking back of all this,makes me so hurt.as i type now,my eyes starts to gets watery just thinking about it and my tears is falling....why....tell me why.why did she have to go....it wasnt her time yet.why...why!!!...someone tell me...why...she was still young but why...!how much pain do i need to suffer....how much pain does my mother have to suffer.why does all of this memories returning to me...they are so painful....the pain of someone u love leaving is something so painful and cant even be described...i feel my heart now like its about to burst because its crying as well...why!!why!!!!WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i cant stop crying....when it was time to bury her....there again,we all begged and cried..especially my mother...why did she just have to leave us like that without a goodbye or a single word...sigh.one things for sure is eventhough how much this deeply affects each of everyone of us,it will forever be there in our hearts.it may be a good memory to cause it lets us remind of those great times with her.If she was still here,she would be able to be there for me when i'm about to cry.i cant depend on my mum because she is also suffering.i have to be there for her.i have so much painful feelings now and i wish i could just cry on u,godma.but...looks like my wish is just another thing of my memory and imagination..i guess i have to resist my tears myself.its so painful......theres a hole in my heart and i think i cant fix it...i hope my godmother realise how much i miss and love her from the skies.I love you,godma.please watch over us with ur great love and power.Make us continue living life towards the future with no sadness and just happiness.please..

Flo Rida - Club Can't Handle Me ft. David Guetta [Official Music Video] ...

what a great song!!!!!!!

Laza Morgan - This Girl (Video)!!!!!

My weird and funny mind

its been so long since i last updated!WOAH!!well,i can tell you something!so many things happened!!!i dont know how to start but in months or maybe in weeks or days,many things can happen.greaT!but recently i just watched step up...in 3D!!!its AWESOME!my rating is 20/10!haha!!beyond the rating point.i love the show.it was a worth it show.plus,the songs in there....club cant handle me and this girl.........MAGNIFICENT!i've been listening to it a lot whenever i come online.what great songs!!!theres another one called beggin by madcon!!also great!the dance are great!very creative and strong!OH YEAH!did i mention today is merdeka day!?well,it is!!HAPPY MERDEKA DAY!!!!!!53 years!!gareth's feeling sad that he's not here but hey..he's a malaysian no matter what.in his heart,he's celebrating merdeka day.i miss him.speaking of him,his summer break ends today.that means he can only come online during the weekends....sad,huh?but i was happy enough that i was able to chat with him the whole summer break.i'm sad that he cant come online everyday now but i'm much better to hear that he can come online during the weekends.at least we can talk.so,i'm still in progress.saving up money as much as i can.for sure,without a doubt,i'm going canada on january.oh..another thing,pmr is coming!!!!!and next week we start our 2 weeks holidays..but we cant have fun.we form 3's have to study all the time.also,after the two weeks holiday,i found out that we have a small pmr examination to test u again.awww...man.i wish pmr was already over.i'm actually kind of scared now.about pmr.its worrying me.BUT!i didnt even try yet..so i wouldnt know.so i cant give up now!gotta work hard.already promised myself and gareth.anyways,many things have happened as i said.Florentina's birthday is coming up on this thursday.she's gonna be 5!!aiya...sometimes i feel that she's elder than me.she orders me around and love to say "whatever" to me.SIGH!hahaha...i cant really do anything abt it.she's having fun.hmm...as much days pass by,i get more scared,more sad and more happy.i have a weird emotion,ya know that.but thats me for ya.theres so much things that happens in life whether its hardship or easyness or maybe even sadness.but i'm very fortunate to have a life because i have the greatest person in my life.i'm so happy to have live life for 15 years now.to have exist in this world.truly,i am glad to have someone i truly love with all my heart.its amazing how people can go through life.though i may not seen him or have time with him,i already promised to go and meet him on january.think i'm joking?haha,think again.i made a promise and felicia will keep her promise.no matter what it takes,i'll keep that promise until the end and meet him.i dont have a perfect life with full of happyness but i do know one thing..i have a great family,great friends,a great life and a wonderful person whom i love in every way and forever will love.:).OKAY!i think i have done typing out what my weird head/brain wanted to say.theres more but i think i should stop for now.;).

Because i am felicia she and because you make me happy,i'll say this...forever in life and eternity,i will always love you for you are the person i truly am inlove with.Nothing in this world can ever stop me from loving you because the love i have for you is something not even magic can break.

Friends to me.

Maryam/ili-my farney partners that loves being crazy and hyper 24/7.:)they can ROCK U!
Li Mun-the little cucumber who can really bully u.so dont mess with her eventhough she's small.;)
chee yee-the grumpy negative one who u can really depend on whenever u have a trouble.she may seem grumpy but deep down she really is great.
Joanna-the party woman.cool as ice and will turn up the party(if theres one)
Vanessa-the one thats up to some great knowledge.she gives good advise.so,listen to me and take her advise's.its a one in a million.
Yean hui-the yam cake.popular around the people.trust me,she is one that will make ur world upside down and its a good thing!
ashley-the shy little girl.she has korean knowledge.ask her abt any korean shows,she will give u answers beyond ur imagination.
gabrielle/danielle-the twins that will make u feel better if u had a bad day.their soothing words calm you.also known as anime lovers.
shery-the korean GIRL!!!snsd lover!!!she knows korean stuff too!A LOT!she's currently in love with bi rain!
teo yi fung-though i dont knw much,i hear she's awesome!the funneh one!she loves RDJ!she has RDJ spirit!
tamilmalar-the good one.she's nice but not much people knw that.she's fun around and always a positive thinker.
pirabaswary/thavisri-also known as a good ones.they talk a lot in class but hey!thats them for ya!they really can help u when u need help.
charmaine/szi yun-charmaine is the hyper candy girl.beware!if she ate candy or choc,she can be too hyper.szi yun is the atletic girl who is really super flexible.she likes fun together with charmaine.
zhi qing and the gang-they really are nice people.seriously.no kidding.people should like them mre.
shaun-the good guy.he helps u if u have problems and gives u courage to carry on.
weng woh-the funny garfield.he's cute and naughty at the same time but he has a good heart.
benjamin-technology guy.he's pro,ya know!dont messy with him in technology.
wei lun-haha,what to say abt this guy ah?he's a good guy too.i call him fei zhai.

woot!theres so much friends around me.i cant list them all,but in my heart,they all are something to me.they help me during hard times i had,sad times,and laughed together with me.so many memories.painful and great memories.all of this is my life.theres one more friend.>
Gareth hoom-a big love that came to me.a person who loves and cherish his friends like no other.if u ever feel upset or down,then he's the guy who will do his best to make u smile again.when theres no him,the whole world just doesnt feel right.he's a big part in this world and he means something in everybody's heart.well,he means something big to me alright!with this,i end my post by saying that...i love him..:).truly love him like u've never loved anything that much before...

what a life

i always think and wonder....life is great,isnt it?i mean u can feel things,learn things...theres so many things we can do with life.We can feel feelings which are so great such as happiness,excited,hyper,gladness and best of all,love.theres much more.but we cant also forget that theres painful feelings that hurt us.well,thats part of life.we learn from our mistakes.its amazing how people are created to enjoy life.but sadly,few of them use them the wrong way.other that that,u can see the happiness any of the people have in this world.their joyful laugh,their their happy faces when something good comes along.what i enjoy most is that people's faces when they have love for one another.with their family,friends or even lovers.when i see them just having a good time with their loverS,i would like feel that too.its great!their faces when they are together.then again,now,i cant say anything nor do anything abt it.as for mine,i guess i have to wait.thats the only thing to do.wait in patience.pray,believe and imagine that i can.life is sure one interesting thing.so many things that can be done.we are fortunate a word call "life and humans" exist.i am very fortunate yet glad and so happy because i am a human being and is able to experience life.best yet i have a love now.isnt that great,huh?:).i am one lucky girl alright!i dont know what to say or how to show my appreciation to god for letting me have the person i love now.truly marvelous how god does his work and gives miracle.trust me,he gave me miracleS and luckS before.;)!now in return,i will help those in need in life.the more help people get,the more better the world becomes.i cant control my anger towards some people but i will try.i dont hate people until i hold grudges.i just may dislike them and someday,i will come to be friends with them.thats life for ya.u be enemies and the next u know,u are friends with them.well,for now.this is all i can say.i have to go out now.:)!i will be back!

Forever

Together shall we be, henceforth till the end of eternity.

how do i start?ok,i'm confuse...things i see and things i feel.its not a good feeling.its all mixing up and it seems it wants me to feel pain.what i'm seeing..how can i say it?am i doing something wrong?yeah,but what?when i think about it,why do i always feels like i'm the one doing the wrong thing?is that true?so many questions wondering in my head but i cant seem to get the right answers for each questions.does this mean i have to find it out myself the hard way or it will never have an answer?for a 15 year old girl,i sure have many things to think about.but..wait..no,i'm wrong.i dont have many things to think about..theres just one.above all,thats the most important thing thats in my head.now i'm confuse whether i should find out the answer or leave it..is that it?that one question in my head which is causing me to have a strong curiosity?sigh,nevermind.sometimes,i wish that all will be well with everyone in this world.full of happyness and no such thing as sadness,sorrow,pain that bestows upon anyone.if its like that,i bet everyone will be having one great life.well,this kind of stuff really exist through my imagination..thats right..imagination.but is this all really came true,will it be known as life?when i think back,life means something.its so important and people exist because of it.right now,the thing i saw,was it an ostacle for me to face in order to reach my goal?if thats the case,it makes me feel sad.but ya know what?i might have said it cause me sadness but i'm gonna face that obstacle hand down.no matter how much it hurts or kill me,i'm gonna break those obstacles that will continue in order for me to reach my destination!i just have to stay strong and believe because by believing,just a little believe can give u a big success.just yesterday,one of the member of parents teachers association in my school gave a speech.--"one of thing that made me successful was by imagination.it all comes down to our attitude.compare a chicken and an eagle.they are both bird but whats different is that one of them can fly and because it can fly so high in the sky,that makes it more special.its flies freely and that might just have gave it success as a bird.many of you are chickens,still learning,but looks to the left and look to the right,a very little of you are eagles"--thats was what he said.interesting,right?and no doubt about it,everything he said is true.now,i just have to work hard and believe,i'm sure that it will help me.

hrm....i've been thinking these days.about many things.some are difficult and hard to imagine and some are just sad.to be honest,i feel confuse and uncertain.why u ask?well,lets say i have many things to think about.i've been keeping and holding on to a feeling for so long which is hard to say but it feels like a rock fell on my heart and its been there for so long.i'm always smiling but when that certain thought comes to me,all i ever do is feel sad and the painful feeling comes back.i'm able to smile just for a while again after that but maybe thats the true meaning of my name.felicia means happyness.maybe thats why i'm often seen as a happy person.smiling all the time.but theres a thought in my head that always makes me feel depress.i think i know what it is.all my life,i've been fooled and acted as a fool.sometimes i do the wrong things without noticing it and because of that,i think i might have hurt a few people.i guess i can be called as a selfish person.being a 15 year old girl and going to highschool and being the eldest sibling,its hard and stressful.but compare to others like my mom and dad,my problem is nothing.sometimes,i might have thought that going to school just makes me feel angry.all of this change when i met someone.turns out in the end,i like this person.wait,no.i mean i came to love him.it was that very place that i always stood even when it rain or shining brightly and waited for uncle bus that made me to meet him.under that very tree right opposite of the school i go.these days i never stood there like i did in form 1.but sometimes i would walk across the road and go to that very place.i realise that i've come to love that place for it was the place that gave me happyness in life.gareth hoom...what can i say abt him...funny,friendly,kind,childish,entertaining,and sometimes often think negative.hahaha,but i guess thats what makes people love him a lot.also,he is able to make others happy.sometimes,when i think back on the day he left,i just wondered why didnt i just jump on a cab and went and tell him goodbye at the airport.i'm a fool.the happyness i have now is because i'm able to be with him.because of him,i was able to feel true love for the first time.now,i pray that i'm able to see him this year.no matter what,i have to go.somehow,i'm gonna make it possible.thats a thing i'm willing to put my life on.

William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet quotes

"For never was a story of more woe
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo."


"O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name.
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love
And I'll no longer be a Capulet."

My hope and wish

Gareth Hoom Teck Leem,i'm gonna tell you something!I want to be with you forever.Thats a true thing.

True love

True love never leaves any of the two lovers heart.No matter what may come by to break them apart,they'll remain together forever if they truly love each other.Until the very end no matter the cause.

to be with forever

sigh,recently i've been feeling so stress up.the exams...and all that.i'm feeling so angry that i can break a wall.these two guys is ruining li mun's life.i cant tell whats it cause its personal but one things for sure is that they are demanding.they already have someone in their life yet they still want more and the worst is that they pick li mun of all people.Love.....its not something people should make fun of.its one of the most strongest and meaningful feeling.its not a joke nor a simple thing.not being able to be with the one you love...thats a feeling even i cant imagine.all i know is that it hurts.despite all this,my love will keep on being strong.i will try to clear the obstacles that comes by.i dont intend to leave the person i love or make him upset.thats just wrong!love is a precious thing.its like a life.to me,people wont exist without love.so thats why love is important.love is not about having fun,kissing,dating or any of that.its abt the feelings two people have for each other.thats called true love without a doubt.even me,i wish to be with the one i love forever despite everybody doubts about it.so dont take love as a slight thing.to those two people who keeps causing li mun pain,just stop it!she has a life and you do too.leave her alone.if u continue this,i have no choice but to give u a lesson.u caused her pain and i dont intend to let you continue.no,not to her.she's young and has a lot more important things to do in life.just get off her back.

A true hope

私はいつも永遠にあなたを愛して



:)!

it might been a great memory

u know,i've always have a regret...just thinking about it makes me wonder what a person i am to waste it.i always regret the time where i never went out with gareth when he was still here.what a fool i am.looking at all those couples these days,going out together,watching movies together makes me so sad and hurt.it makes me realise that i am a bad person for never showing up to meet gareth twice!!but i'm glad he's willing to forgive me.but for me,its unacceptable for doing that.i'm pretty sure he was kinda upset that i didnt go.this makes me so sad.i feel sad now because i think i'm been punish for not going.i guess i really deserve it.but i made a promise to myself,when i go canada,i am going to pay him back 100%!i will make it a day he will never forget!firstly i will give him a big hug!!then enjoy everyday there with him!that i sure will do it for him!right now,at this very moment,i would love to say "i love you" straight to him.someday,i'm sure i will get to say it to him.i know it.

Full House

Holidays

heyyy!its still holidays!!another few more days then its back to school and the next thing ya know it is exams!argh!!exams are coming on the 4th of march!:(!!anyways,i have a lot of angpaus!but i'm not done collecting it all yet.still have more places to go.oh,my youngest sis has asthma now.my dad is thinking of giving brandy away cause he's probably the main reason why my sis has asthma.:'(!nooo!!i dont wanna give brandy away..sob...he's such a good dog eventhough he's a bit naughty.sigh..my sis is sick now...i hope her asthma goes away.anyways,we went to grandpa's house at pahang for CNY.then we played fireworks.we also played some kind of lantern that will fly up to the sky and have to make a wish while its going up.ARGH!i dont wanna go back to school yet!!then its also exams!i'm surely gonna fail 100% for maths!!!These days,i've been kinda sad.i feel really hurt.sometimes i would just cry.i miss gareth so much.i havent been chatting with him lately.he didnt come online.he didnt come just now also.i really miss him so much...i try to control my feelings but i would just cry.nobody understands how much i really miss him.well,all i have to do is hope i get enough money!i have to go canada no matter what!!!!

Chinese new year + Valentines day

hallo!!!so long i didnt updated adi!well,i was kinda busy!anyways,today is chinese new year and valentines day!!yes!!angpaus!!!MONEY!!!!$_$!!yesterday nite,we went and ate at pantai seafood with kong kong and nai nai.the food was nice but i have stomach ache now!!:(!oh,i forgot!!i didnt take the injection yet!!i think the school is posponing it.anyways,as i was saying...its CNY!!ah yes!later we are to kong kong's hse to eat and get angpauS!its a family custom!valentines day.......GARETH!!!come online la!!!!sob..sob....i cant give gareth anything....:'(!i wonder if any girls will give gareth valentines day gift...:'(...i'm sure a lot of them will give him....:'((((((((!!!!!!!awww....sob...so sad la.i want to give him something but i have no money!!i have to save it up so i can go see him...haya...so many girls gonna give him valentines day gift......*bang my head*!!AHH!!haiz...

INJECTION!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!TOMORROW HAVE TO TAKE A TETANUS INJECTION IN SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!OMG!!!!!!some people told me the injection will be painful later!!!!even mummy say so!!!!O_O!!!NOOO!!!!!TOMORROW!!!!!I DONT WANNA TAKE IT!!!!NO!!NO!!NO!!!I'm super terrified!!My friends told me that after we take the injection,the hands will be pain!!T.T!EVEN NOW MY HAND HURTS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!!!:(!!!im sure gonna be even terrified tomorrow.sobbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb........

Like a normal day

Woooo!!Today i saw a WORM!!!a really BIG and long one.i think its a earth worm...eee...scary la.my geo teacher didnt come today and a replacement teacher came in!!the teacher was SOOO nice,funny and childish!!she even told us that she likes bleach,naruto and ben 10!!Haha!i was shocked!then she ask us to play a game.it was her idea.The game was so fun!!everybody have to write their nickname,city they were born,fav food and hobby in a paper.we cant write our real name.then teacher put the papers in her pencil box and ask mikhail to pick a paper and read it out and we have to guess who is the person!lol!its sounds boring but it was so fun!!then teacher was laughing with us and said "u suck" to jie ming cause he put his nickname"JM" which was so obvious to know that its him!!hahah!!laugh so much t0day!and i keep singing and dancing the three bears song!its so addictive!:D!GAH!i'm so tired eventhough i slept just now!!!LUCKILY TOMORROW IS SATURDAY!!!!WEEKENDS!!!!!!YESSS!!!finally weekends have come.can sleep and watch tv!!chinese new year holidays are coming also!!have 1 weeks!!waa...the days are getting better.ehehe...valentine's day is coming soon.2 more weeks.cant wait to see valentines day week cause school will be selling few Valentines day stuff and people will buy it to give to their "ahum..ahum".:D!sigh...but i wont be having fun...cause gareth is not here...:(.Wait a minute.....chinese new year is coming...on february 14...2 more weeks...chinese new year........YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I CAN GET ANG PAU!!!!MORE MONEY!!!!!YAY!!!!!!*starts dancing around*!!YES!!!!!i will get ang pau means more money!!ehehe!!i must get a lot of money to go canada!!!MUST GO CANADA!!!!!!!!!MUAHAHA!!i hope i go during winter time cause i wanna see snow.But i worried that mummy cant stand the cold.well,we will just have to see abt it...:)!

Star*

aloha!!waaa!!i'm so tired now cause i didnt sleep earlier.i was doing my KHB paper work!finally i finished it!!i mean its not finished...i just did until wat teacher told us to do!anyways,tomorrow got khb..means have to bring our wood and cut it and hammer and all that!!so lazy to do that!:(!Today,i was laughing so much cause ili and maryam was doing funny eye contacts to me!LOL! they are so FUNNY and FUN!!:D!HAHA!My maths teacher went angry again today...=.=..haiz.she's kinda scary still.:\!Oh!valentine's day is coming soon!another 2 more weeks!!YIPEE!!!cant wait!!but...i cant give gareth anything...:'(!haya...sob..anyways,have to go now.Got something urgent to do!!

Ajaja Fighting!!

hailo!!!*yawn*...ZZzzzzzZZZ..so tired!!as usual!my day at school today was normal but...someone pissed me off!!i really dont understand her!!!she insulted li mun and vanessa!!!!yeessssh!!!!i was so angry at her!she was gossiping abt them.that girl is actually a very snobby girl!!a lot of people dont like her and she thinks she is so pretty and popular.she likes to insult people and she's a playgirl!haya!!i was angry at her cause she was insulting Vanessa and li mun.TALKING BAD ABT THEM!!!later i scolded her and now she keeps staring at me.well,i dun care abt it!she has no right to INSULT PEOPLE!!!!!!!!>:(!She is actually very lanci!!the way she talks also like that!!HAIZ!!!!nevermind la......i also dun really want to talk abt it now...anyways,other than that,the day was fine.well,i go now.kinda tired.gonna sleep now!!!bye bye!!!:)!!

Tadaa.

Anyonghaseyo!!!came back frm school and was sooooo tired as usual.Just got up frm sleep.Something happened today......MY MATHS TEACHER WAS SMILING AND LAUGHTING WITH US TODAY!!!O_O!so shocking!!but i guess its a good thing.she must have been happy today for some reason.I'm so tired eventhough i slept so loong.haiz!I'm STILL alone in class....no friends(girl) to talk to me...so sad la.i miss 2 penaga last year and miss becoming the assistant monitor...:(...i miss many things...Tomorrow is friday and i have to stay back till 4 something cause got extra activities.HAYO!!i dont wanna stay back.sure i'm gonna be extra tired and the worst thing is Saturday have school to replace chinese new year hoiliday!!>:(!I dont wanna go but its PMR year and i have to cut my wood on saturday for KHB!T.T.sighhh.to cheer me up,i'll post more Full house pics!!:)!

Here i come again.

waaaaa.hello there.i just came back frm kesatria.it was so tiring.we ran and ran.phew.i didnt really do anything.i was playing badminton with yi fung.it was fun!!i love to play badminton.i find fun when playing it.well,its the third week of school now.My maths teacher is SUPERRRR scary like 100%!!!!she likes to scold a lot.T.T!sobb...sobb.anyways,i never chat with gareth frm some time now.its been long.aww......i wanna chat again with him.i hope he come online today.I finally bought Full House DVD!!YAY!!!can watch full house on and on.i love that show.Rain is acting in it.the drama is just magnificent.i love the show a lot.Also,rain kinda reminds me of gareth cause they look alike.lol.really!but makes me happy in some way.it makes me think of gareth.i wonder how he is now.i cant wait to see him.gonna hug him when i see him!sigh...i love you,Gareth!!haha.so sudden i just say that.i'm planning to get a job this year if can.i want one.plus,i have to go tuition soon or else i will fail my maths in exams and pmr.maths is getting harder and harder!well,like wat Han Ji Eun say is Full HOuse...AJAJA FIGHTING!!(means like giving confidence in korean).I'm gonna try my best this year.Sometimes i feel really lonely in my class now.i have n0 friends except for guys.i sit next to shaun.i only talk to him,jerald,aaron,jie ming and scott.i'm so lonely.no girl friends to talk to me.all of them have a partner each except me.i'm always alone during bacaan class.sigh...kinda sad.my friends are all in different class.well,i just gotta accept it.....:(....well,bye for now.I'm gonna post some Full House pics.

Full House(Han Ji Eun(Song Hye Kyo) and Lee Young Jae(Rain))

Morning session

Gahhhh!i'm so tired!!morning session is so tiring!!!!its killing me!!T.T!awwww!!imagine the pain of getting up this whole year and its only january NOW!!plus,another two more years!GAAA!!later i have to go for kesatria.EEE!i dont wanna go.so tired.wanna sleep.BUT I HAVE TO GO!!!OR ELSE WILL GET PUNISHMENT!!!!AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!i want holidays to come faster now!!!:(!the pain of getting up so early in the morning everyday is just so PAINFUL!T~T!SOB!aiyO!!!!anyways,gtg now.Bye

Beautiful View

someday i would love to walk in a place like this...full of cherry blossoms surrounding me.

Genting WAS FUNN!!!!!:D!

HELLLOOOOO!!!!!!!I'm BACK FRom Genting!!!i came back on thursday!woots!it was so fun!!i sat in most of the thrilling rides i never sat before like cyclops(so scary when going down)spinner,sungai rejang(its like a boat ride that falls frm the stop!so scary and u will get wet and cold!!)flying dragon and mush more!!was so fun!!the outdoor theme park was the most funnest.oh!i also won an elephant frm the outdoor game carnival!!i was so happy!!its the first time i won in those kind of games.let me show u the pic of the elephant

ahh!!so cute!!

i'll post some more pics now.oh yeah!!i went to my dads uncles hse.here's some pic.

such a nice place.

this tree is more than 30 years old!!O_O!

a very cute pineapple,indeed!

we also went to eat cendol...:D!

ahh...got so many more pics but lazy to upload!well,have to go now!!bye bye!

Time flies

YEAH!!tomorrow me and my family are finally going genting!!yesss!!so excited!i think i'm going to sit the roller coaster that goes upside down for the first time in my life.i hope its gonna be fun.AH!so excited la!cant wait!oh,today i burnt myself while cooking hashbrown..:'(so pain....my hand has a scar adi and also below my eye...sob..so painful.it burns.anyways,i'm really excited.Gonna sit this and sit that and go swimming there.i wonder whether it will be VERY cold.i hope its not raining.otherwise i cant sit the outdoor ride.please dun make it to rain.i wanna have so much fun at genting.oh wait!if i'm going genting means i cant go online..for 3 days!aiya...cant get to chat with Gareth.well,i'll chat with him a LOT when i come back then!!X)!ok,bye bye blog.today is my last update.i will re-write when i come back.i'll tell abt my trip to genting!Bye!

Felicia's another day of school...XD!

BWAA!came back frm school and was so sleepy!I cant even open my eyes during school.morning session is kinda hard cause have to get up early.but i have no choice..have a stand it for this whole year and another 2 more year.T__T!i think by then i'll get used to waking up early.today was kinda okay.nothing much happened in class.BUT MY MATHS TEACHER IS SO SCARY!!Everybody is kinda of scared of her.she likes to talk harshly to everyone.I'm already scared of her also.my other subject teachers are okay.they are normal.oh,again we went back on 1.40pm and our last period was maths so we had to endure the pain of being there another 35 mins.But good thing tomorrow is FRIDAY!!means going back at 12.30pm.Yipeee!!!ahh..i feel much better after a long 3 hrs nap.but i'm still kinda sleepy.must be because i slept late yesterday.hrmm...i think i need a drink now.well,Bye!TTFN....Ta Ta For Now..(tigger's words of saying "bye" in winnie the pooh...XD)....wat??winnie the pooh is not bad and not childish!>.<

Full house

I just started watching this drama and it ended the next day!But this korean drama is soooo nice!!i love it eventhough i only watch a little of it.Rain is acting in it!!XD!Its a good romantic and comedy drama.

Skipped School for 2 days!!=.=

heyyyy!i skipped school yesterday and today cuz i'm not feeling well.i had a fever yesterday.sighhh.school juz reopened and here i am being sick.actually,me and all my siblings suddenly didnt feel well.all of us started throwing up one by one.mummy and grandpa is not feeling well too.i hope all of us get better soon.OH!!going to genting soon on the 11th january!!XD!!!cant wait!!!another 5 more days!gonna be real fun.Did i say that school actually ends at 1.05pm but my class,penaga and ramin gotta stay back till 1.40pm??AHH!!sobbb!!we gotta stay back another 35mins for extra classes everyday except for friday!!NOOO!well,i guess we have no choice.dun worry!juz another few more mins only.:\!anyways,gareth finally came back online!!HURAY!!!!XD!i chatted with him!he seems to be fine.good to know.

Well,i have to go now.i will update soon again.

Bye bye blog.Ur writer will come again.

First day of form 3

hey there!i'm so tired!!!juz came back frm schoool!I was kinda lonely today in a new class cuz non of my friends were in the same class...sob...i'm kinda sad..:(...i wanted to sit next to the window but i had to give it to a girl cuz she wanted to sit with her friend.:'(!Now i'm sitting way at the back at the middle row.sigh..it doesnt matter now.Well,got to go.watching a korean drama!bye!

Its time to head off to form 3!

Well,this is it!!i'm gonna sleep now and when i wake up,i'll be getting ready to head to school.I'm worried and scared but i gotta juz be myself.thats wat kakak told me.ok!I wanted to chat with Gareth before i go school tomorrow but he didnt come online.Vanessa told me Gareth said to tell me he's kinda busy and his fine.I'm happy that he's alrite!I hope he will come back online again soon.I kinda miss chatting with him.well,time to sleep now!Gotta wake up very early!!Good nite and Bye,Blog!!:)!