it might been a great memory

u know,i've always have a regret...just thinking about it makes me wonder what a person i am to waste it.i always regret the time where i never went out with gareth when he was still here.what a fool i am.looking at all those couples these days,going out together,watching movies together makes me so sad and hurt.it makes me realise that i am a bad person for never showing up to meet gareth twice!!but i'm glad he's willing to forgive me.but for me,its unacceptable for doing that.i'm pretty sure he was kinda upset that i didnt go.this makes me so sad.i feel sad now because i think i'm been punish for not going.i guess i really deserve it.but i made a promise to myself,when i go canada,i am going to pay him back 100%!i will make it a day he will never forget!firstly i will give him a big hug!!then enjoy everyday there with him!that i sure will do it for him!right now,at this very moment,i would love to say "i love you" straight to him.someday,i'm sure i will get to say it to him.i know it.