Its no use....i cant help myself.I cant bring myself to forget Gareth.why...i'm suppose to be really mad but all i feel is sadness everyday since that day.Trying to think positive and just forget gareth like that by smiling and joking around...its not working.All i just want to ever do is cry.Please,i beg to forget everything but i really cant.Because Gareth gave me so much to remember and because i love him so dearly,i cant just forget.I dont even want to forget....Was it my fault that it became like that..I am sorry.why is that i can forget that easily.I learned the painful truth about gareth that he never cared for me and his friends told him to never talk to me and he did so...shouldnt i be angry..i should be angry and forget every memory i had with him but i just cant.Please stop it.I dont wanna cry and feel that pain again.i hate myself so much.So much right now.But i didnt mean to..i'm sorry,Gareth.i'm really sorry.Why does everything has to be so hard.why was i inlove with him when this was gonna happen.Why was i blind.why did it have to end like that...I just wanna say that i'm really sorry.I...miss..you a lot..and i still love u like i always did since then..